Therapy Complete

Allie had her last session of Play Therapy two weeks ago. She has been doing so much better with her anxiety, that her counselor and I both thought she would be okay without any more sessions. She did have one night where she started to get out of control (that hasn't happened in months), but once she decided she was ready to listen to me, it wasn't hard to get her calmed down again. 

A couple of things we'll need to remember: she isn't supposed to watch anything scary (movies, the news, etc), as those tend to lead her imagination on a dangerous path (her panic attack she had was after watching a movie with a panther in it); she also isn't supposed to look at magazines designed for women. She has shown that she takes everything in, without knowing how to process things, and nothing good can come of her looking at those magazines. 

Also, we have to reinforce the fact that she isn't "cured." I know that, obviously, having dealt with my own anxiety in the past. You're never cured, you just understand how to manage and deal with it better. Allie sometimes hides that fact that something scares her, probably because she thinks she shouldn't be scared anymore, because she is finished with therapy. But we have let her know that it's OKAY and NORMAL to be scared. Now she just knows better how she's going to handle it. 

For her last session, she got to go get ice cream, and she picked this tub of mint chocolate chip. She wanted to eat it all herself, but that's a lot of ice cream. And she's a sweet girl, so she shared some with her siblings (and gave the rest to Damon when he offered her a dollar).

She is in the play room there, where she loved spending time. Play therapy is fascinating to me. I would love to learn more about it and actually watch it in action. It blows my mind that children can deal with difficult issues (far more serious than Allie's) and heal through play. Fascinating!

Here she is with her counselor, Kate. We are very grateful for her expertise and love in guiding Allie through these rough months. And I'll keep her number close in case we need it again...

PT

"Life is busy," said every mom everywhere. Well, it is. In addition to three soccer players, we also have three kids in tumbling. Which means that I often have to think of creative ways to have dinner ready (or packed to take with us) two or three times a week. 

Besides soccer and tumbling, we have been doing other things as well. Damon is still doing piano (and will until he gets into high school if I have any say in the matter. I wholeheartedly ascribe to the theory that music lessons aren't optional. They are a part of your education. I am under no illusion that my children will be concert musicians, but I am determined that they are at least able to read music). He hardly ever complains about it, but he has one serious flaw. He would rather play by ear than actually read the music. And so, often, he tells me he doesn't know the notes, especially if he has to change position in the song. But he's progressing. And that's really all that matters to me. I loved when I found Carter listening in one night.

The main thing that has been happening around here is potty-training (I mentioned that a while back). If you ask me, which no one did, I would tell you that potty-training is probably my least favorite thing about being a mom. It is stressful, and brings out the worst in both the potty trainee and the potty trainer. I would recommend avoiding it for as long as possible. 

Still, though, you come to my blog for tips on raising children, so I will give you my potty training tips. 

1. Wait until the child is ready to do it by them self.

That's pretty much it. Even then, it's still a lengthy process that you would rather not participate in, but you have no choice. Kindergartners need to be able to wear underwear, not diapers, to school. So we're forced into it. 

Damon was easy to potty train (we waited until he was three to even try, as he had a fear of....well, everything. But toilets were high on the list). Allie was probably the hardest to potty train. And it wasn't that I tried to potty train her too soon (I don't think), because she was going on her own, but she just had the tiniest bladder (still does) and little bladder control. So, needless to say, she had a lot of accidents. Kyla wasn't too bad. Easier than Allie, but harder than Damon. But no one matches Carter.

I fully expected to wait until Carter turned three to even attempt anything. But this little independent soul had other plans.

He had been "practicing" going on the potty for a couple of months. Basically, I would ask if he wanted to sit on the toilet, he'd say yes, sit there for a couple seconds without doing anything, and then claim he was done. Then I'd put a diaper back on him. Really, I felt like it was just good exposure to the toilet (good potty experiences) and didn't push anything. 

After a while, he started initiating it. He would take his diaper off and go sit on the potty (straddle style, the way I showed him) and started actually going. Of course we had big celebrations (he got to blow out a candle--by far the most motivating thing I have found in potty-training), and it snowballed from there. He started going again and again, all on his own.

After three days of staying dry all day, and taking off his diaper to do his peeps and poops on the potty, I broke down and bought him undies. And it has been (mostly) smooth sailing ever since. Unfortunately for all of us, he got diarrhea a couple days into his underwear, and had a rough couple of days. But after we got through that, he has had VERY few accidents in his undies. He even stays dry most nights (although he likes to wear a Mickey Mouse diaper to bed under his undies, and since I'd rather not have to deal with wet sheets in the middle of the night--even though that's only happened twice--I let him). Seriously, it's been the best potty training experience I could imagine.

That's not to say we haven't had to clean up plenty of poop. There were times the poop made it on the toilet seat, but not quite in the bowl. Or when the poop made it on the floor next to the toilet. And a couple of times the poop made it on the carpet. Delightful. But never again in his undies. Don't you just love little bums in underwear? I do. His buns look even cuter in the boxer briefs, but of course he doesn't ever choose those. 

Independent little boy that he is, he wants to wear his swimsuit every day. EVERY. DAY. And he has gotten particular about cutting out the tags in all his clothes. He even went so far as to insist that McKay wear his swimsuit and that I cut the tags out. I politely declined, as McKay doesn't mind leaving the tags in.

He also loves Thomas the train (see his hand). He asked me, "Can I take a bath with Thomas?" I laughed, told him yes, and then told myself, "I hope that I never hear him ask me that when he's a teenager."

Music Vid

Summer is my favorite season. I love the sun, I love swimming, I love days that stretch out for hours. But I must admit, having all five kids home ALL DAY LONG was hard. And this was probably the first year that summer wasn't really all that fun for me.

Because of my two surgeries, I couldn't go in the water much at all, so we didn't get to swim as much as we would have liked. McKay is a crazy man around water, and I have to pull him out at least 5 times every time we go, so I couldn't just sit on the side and watch the kids play either. And while we had activities that took up some of our time, there were a lot of days (afternoons in particular, when the boys were sleeping) that we were all home.

I tried to enforce an hour of reading/math/other mind-expanding activity every afternoon, but we weren't always successful in accomplishing that. Instead, we were very good at making lots of messes. I felt like I was following Carter around and cleaning up his messes, while four more were being made all around me. Every single day I thought I might lose my mind, and wondered if my house would ever STAY clean again. It really got on my nerves.

I felt like I was swimming upstream, but making very little headway. And poor Jeff got the worst of it one day when he told me that we needed to make more salsa because our garden was overflowing. But, see, I couldn't even keep up with everything else that needed to be done, and I just couldn't possibly even THINK about the mounds of tomatoes and peppers that were accumulating on the counter. And I snapped at him, which he didn't deserve, quickly venting all my frustrations with the never-ending summer that seemed so far beyond me. Sweet husband that he is, he made the salsa himself (and if you know how much time Jeff spends in the kitchen, you'll know that is a BIG deal).

Now that we are back in the fall routine, things have settled down. I have three hours in the afternoon when the older kids are in school and the little boys are confined to their rooms to relax, decompress and do some things that I want to do. Isn't that amazing? I sure think so. Hopefully next summer will be better. McKay will be older and hopefully easier to watch at the pool. And I won't be having any surgeries (heaven help us), so that I'll be able to take the kids swimming a lot more. That's the plan anyway.

Lest you think all our days were bad, that is not the case. We did have a lot of fun, too. We were inspired during the Olympics to make our own music video to "Call Me Maybe." Not profesh by any means, but I'm glad we have this to remember this crazy time of our lives.

August Laughs

Kyla, while watching the Olympics: "That guy looks like my boyfriend."

Damon, also while watching the Olympics, and hearing about the female athlete who was forced to undergo gender testing to determine she was, in fact, a woman: "Can't they just look and see?"

McKay learned to do a "surprised face", by making his mouth into an O. One day at a soccer game, I was talking to another mom about how close my boys are in age. I told her it was a surprise. McKay, who was in my arms, looked at me and gave me his "surprised face."

Kyla, helping with lunch one day: "McKay wants more cotton cheese."

Damon, very upset: "McKay rubbed his toothbrush on his bum!"

Carter, walking around without a shirt on: "Do you see my nipples?"

Allie, at breakfast one morning, took some nuts Kyla had put out for Jeff. "I got dad's nut!" Just as she said this, Damon and Jeff shared a look and burst into laughter. Soon, everyone was laughing, but only 3 of us knew why.

Carter, who has spent the last week potty-training, found the flap in his underwear. One particular pair weren't holding everything in and he told me, "My private is out! Put it back in!"