The Fine Print

What if becoming a mother was like applying for a job, where you were required to read through a list of qualifications to determine how good of an employee you would be? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think I am begining to realize that this list of qualifications should also include some fine print.



For example, In order to be a good mother, you will have to do the following:

1. Have an advanced knowledge of the human body (medical school training preferrable) and be able to judge between every day aches and pains and life and death emergencies, as you may need to distinguish between the two almost daily.

The fine print: Knowing a few simple phrases, such as, "Is there blood?," and "If it were broken you wouldn't be able to walk on it" will help tremendously when determining how severe an injury is. Must be willing to respond to statements such as "my bum crack hurts" with "let me see."

2. Must possess a vivid imagination and be willing to come up with unique scenarios for imaginary play.

The fine print: A basic knowledge of Disney movies is enough to get you by. "Let's pretend we're deer walking out onto ice for the first time..."

3. Cooking skills are a must. You will spend many hours each day planning and preparing gourmet meals for a number of different tastes.

The fine print: No matter what you make, someone isn't going to like it. Mix in the occasional chicken nugget and tator tot night to appease the children and spend the rest of the time making things that you like. Learn well the phrase, "You can be finished, but you'll only get water the rest of the night."

4. While cleaning may not be considered a skill, you will need to be able to do it very well. And very often.

The fine print: Learn the "quick straighten and vacuum" technique. It will help things appear clean, while spraying air freshener in the bathroom can buy you at least another week.

I could go on and on, but fear of boredom prevents me. What fine print would you wish you had read early on?

Odds and Ends

Let's try this list style, shall we?

1. Thanks for the comments about the blog layout. I wish I could take credit for it, but all I made was the header. A few of you have visited THIS SITE for your new layouts, so I couldn't fool you any way. If you scroll down a little, there are a bunch of free layouts you can use for your blog and you won't lose any of your links. It took me a few minutes to figure it all out, but I like the new look. A little love for Florida.
2. Allie is turning three next week and I think she's coming out of the terrible twos. She has been very pleasant lately, obeying about 50% of the time (quite an improvement). One of my favorite memories of her was a couple weeks ago we were playing Mother May I after our FHE lesson. Allie and Damon were standing by the door and I instructed her to take three steps toward me. She looked at me, trying hard to remember her line, and said, "Mamma Mia!" She would've fit in nicely on American Idol this week.
3. Speaking of Allie, here is a short list of songs she has asked to listen to lately: Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift, Our Song by Taylor Swift (to which she commented, "I love this one!"), No One by Alicia Keys (we know how she feels about her), "It's Too Late to Call the Jize" (Apologize) by One Republic, "Afore He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts (she learned the beauty of REPEAT on her cd player with this one) and her all-time favorite, All American Girl by Carrie Underwood (to which she knows all the words and sings into her toy microphone).
4. And a short list of songs she has been banned from listening to: "Apple Bottom Jeans" (Low) by Flo Rida (It's so catchy, and I hadn't really listened to the words. I regret that now. She was barred from this song after she couldn't stop singing it one Sunday. I'm lucky I haven't been struck by lightning.). "I Hate that Stupid.."(Picture to Burn) by Taylor Swift ("hate" and "stupid" are two of the banned words in our house), and Life is a Highway. Because of the REPEAT feature.
5. My baby is so big! And she's into everything! It has made packing a little tricky. Here is one of her favorite spots--the fake trees we have in the house.

She also loves pulling the books off the bookshelf in the kids room. But those are packed now. "How rude," as Allie would say.

I'm sure there are more things I had planned to write when I first sat down, but the kids aren't cooperating. So that's it for now.

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was my sister, Tara's, birthday, and I am just getting around to posting this today. That's the life of a busy mom, I guess.

Heather did an awesome post about Tara, and everything she said is absolutely true! Tara is the life of the party, an awesome mom and aunt, and a great athlete. Here are a few things I would like to add:

1. Tara has the best skin for tanning. She was always the first one to get tan after the winter, and she could always get three or four shades darker than the rest of us. Lucky girl with the olive skin. No wonder she's so pretty!

2. Tara is everyone's favorite. Damon, in particular, thinks there is no one on earth better than her. "Rara" was one of his first words, in fact. They have always had a special bond, as she was there when he was born, giving my mom the play-by-play on the phone.

3. She is a great imitator. One of my favorite memories of her is from Ohio. She came to stay with us and we were all about American Idol, and our favorite reject ever, Mary Roach. We had some bath crayons in the bathroom, and every morning she and I would think of something that had made us laugh and add another quote to the shower wall. After a few days, the walls were covered and neither of us could take a shower without laughing hysterically.

4. She may try to hide it from the world, but she has the most tender heart. No one cares about people like Tara does. She always wants to know what's going on with everyone and her heart truly goes out to those who are suffering. Her compassion is what makes her such a great people person.

We love you Tara and hope you had a great birthday! We can't wait to party with you soon!

"How do you think you did?" "Not too shabby."

A thousand words

I have been busy packing. I have a lot of thoughts that may never make it to the blog. But I'm okay with that. This is a quickie today.

You know the saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

I love this picture. I wish we had a better camera and an ounce of knowledge when it came to photography (Jeff has volunteered to take on that task--although he is interested in photographing nature. I don't mind that, as long as the kids get in a shot every once in a while). But I saw Allie like this and had to shoot away. It was too priceless. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "just watching the big waves."

What does it say to you?

I'll share my thoughts later.

Date Night

Picture this:

You are getting ready for your first date. You have been anxiously anticipating this night for weeks. All day long you think about what you're going to wear, how you'll fix your hair and wonder why the hours are dragging by so slowly. Finally, your date arrives. You try hard to only let an appropriate amount of excitement show, so as not to scare him off with the depth of your feelings for him. You ride together in his car, and suddenly you find there is nothing to talk about. Instead, you listen to music he has picked out and pretend to like it. He takes you somewhere nice to eat and you are careful about what you order, knowing first impressions are everything. You talk during dinner, and things go well. Ultimately, though, before the night is over, you do something embarrassing. You want to go home. Even though he acts like it's not a big deal, you know he's probably dying inside. How could he not be? When you finally get home, you walk in, mortified. You vow you'll never date again. It's just too hard.

Sound familiar? Or was that just me? Allie experienced her first date last night (with her daddy). And that's pretty much how it went. She had been planning the night for weeks (months, even), and couldn't have been more excited about going to Chik Fil A to play on the playground. She wore her favorite rainbow shirt and even let me wash her hair. When dad got home from school, she ran around squealing with delight.

They got to the restaurant and she went right for the playground (they ate before they left home. What a cheap date she is!). She had only been playing for a few minutes when something terrible happened. She was instantly hit with the irrepressible urge to use the bathroom. Last night's dinner just wasn't sitting well with her (with any of us, really). But she was at the top of the playground. I don't know whether or not the song, "When you're running down to first and you feel a little burst..." ran through her head or not, but the result was the same. A little boy yelled down from above, "she pooped her pants!"

Humiliated, she made her way to the bottom, where daddy tried to pretend it wasn't a big deal. He understood exactly why it had happened, and that really she wasn't to blame, but admitted that the date was over. He bought her an ice cream, placed a paper towel under her behind, and drove home. She cried, probably more embarrassed than anything else. And then she fell asleep. With the spoon still in her mouth. This is how I found them.

Daddy told her that he was going to take her out again, seeing as her date only had about 5 good minutes before the tragedy struck. She said she didn't want to go again, obviously traumatized. It took some convincing before she agreed to accept another date, to an entirely new location. She's much too young to give up on dating yet. Although, I hope that is the worst thing that ever happens to her on a date....

Later that night we were reading a book about a bear who could jump into hats. After performing this feat over 700 times, he was pooped. Allie remarked, "just like me."

Mom's Blog

I just wanted to let you all know that my sister, Heather, has started a blog for my mom. It will basically be a place where we keep family and friends informed of what is going on with her, and her battle with cancer. Feel free to check it out!

karenkancerkiller.blogspot.com

More Time

I'm down to just a few weeks left. We have decided that the best thing for us all is for me to move to Utah with the kids the first of May. Damon can finish kindergarten there (hopefully in the same class as his cousin, David) and then we can spend a month or so with my family, helping them as much as possible.

That means that we have to get packed up and ready to move in the next couple of weeks. And I am feeling jipped (sp?). I thought I would have two more months here to finish all that I wanted to do. In my head, I was planning a nice farewell, revisiting places I won't see again, and seeing new things I have meant to do before now. But it's not going to happen. And while I'm very excited about coming home, I just thought I'd have more time.

With only weeks left, I am trying frantically to condense my list. What do I absolutely want to cram into the time I have? Beach trips? Definitely. Another trip to Sea World? I'd like to. Camping at Manatee Springs? Not a chance.

And even after I choose a few activities to fill our remaining time, the truth is, it's just not enough. Because the things I wanted to do can't possibly be crammed into a month. There's not enough time for proper good-byes to all my friends. The memories I was planning to make won't happen now. And that's what makes me the most sad.

Tomorrow I will be excited about moving. Tomorrow I will be thrilled that I get to be close to my mom, and be able to help her out. Tomorrow I will start counting down the days until I get to see my family again. But today I'm just going to be sad. I just wanted a little more time.

Construction, part II

Britain, thanks for the tip about the pictures! That totally worked!

Here is Damon's class picture. I got a kick out of it. You now can click on it to enlarge it for an even better view!

Here are a few thoughts:
The lighting on the back row is terrible. If it were my child back there, I would be a little upset. You can't even see Achoar and Ayul.
I think Damon has a future in the military, the way he is standing at attention.
Could someone take that boy out in the sun once in a while?
Emani, the girl two rows above Damon in the pink, was victimized by Damon's kissing earlier this year. She wasn't a fan. I wouldn't have been either, seeing as he kissed her on her waist (what's that all about?)

In Pictures

Okay, last week I didn't post many pictures, what with all the craziness we were facing. So, here is a brief recap of what we did, along with some commentary.

WEDNESDAY: Damon and I went on a "date." He had been wanting to go bowling for a long time, and his date night kept getting pushed back for one reason or another. So, after a quick dinner Wednesday night, we headed to Bowl America, which was surprisingly crowded for a Wednesday night.

Things you're thinking that you don't actually say: "Wow, Krystal, that's a huge vein in your forearm."


You're thinking: "The ball matches Damon's cheek. Doesn't she own any sunblock?"


You're thinking: "I'll bet she asks him to pose that way just to get under Jeff's skin."

THURSDAY we had to show the house again (as you well know). It was also day 4 of Damon's spring break. This was around 4:00.

You're thinking: "Where was their mother during all this destruction?" I'm thinking: "When will spring break end?"

Later that night, we went to Red Lobster for a celebration dinner. Actually, it was during our 7:00 showing of the house and we needed to be gone for an extended period of time. And we had a gift card we'd been saving since Christmas and decided we would go, and HOPE it was a celebration of a successful showing.

You're thinking: "Are you guys crazy taking three kids to a sit down restaurant?"

And now you're thinking: "Ah, I see the strategy--let Allie eat the ranch dressing with a spoon, her fingers, and her tongue. That will keep her quiet for a while."

You're thinking: "That's one cute baby, even with food all over her shirt. I bet she was the loudest of the three kids during dinner." You'd be right.

This was just after dinner, while Jeff was waiting to pay the check. We took pity on the other customers and waited outside.

You're thinking: "Does Allie ever look at the camera?" and "Didn't she used to be photogenic?" I'm thinking the same things.

SATURDAY/SUNDAY: Conference. The kids did their usual activities. Damon actually looks forward to conference because of all the candy he gets to eat. Allie couldn't help but be excited too.

You're thinking: "That's a lot of candy. But I don't blame you."

And here are a couple shots of Kyla from the week. She was tagged by Kalia, so here are a few facts you may not know about her. She has started standing by herself for a few seconds at a time. That's fun. She got her first tooth (top middle) after repeated falls drew blood and wore away the gums. She has been sad a lot lately. Maybe teeth? Maybe she's just tired of being the happy one? Who knows.

She can patty-cake, shake her head when I say no, and even started signing ("eat" ). She also shares a love of Jeff's lizards and can often be found in "talking" to them.

You're thinking: "Wow, that must have taken a lot of time. I hope she didn't neglect her kids too much while writing this post."

Fan Mail

In answer to some of the questions (fan mail) I have been getting lately...

I use HP Creative Scrapbook Assistant to do my pages. I decided against the Photoshop route because I just didn't want to put in the time to learn the program. I just want to be able to sit down and whip something out really quickly. I bought the program for myself and had Jeff give it to me for Christmas. You can find it for around $30.

All of the paper, embellishments, etc. I have found online for free (check out some of my links on this page). The program is easy to use and I have been happy with it.

I haven't printed any of my pages yet, but I have heard that Costco does a good job. A couple of friends say they are happy with the way their pages turn out. You can get a 12x12 done for $2.99 done either in Glossy or Lustre. My goal was to be caught up by the time Kyla turns one (at LEAST with her pages, and hopefully with our family's) and there is NO WAY I could make it if I wasn't doing digital. I'll let you know how they turn out when I get them printed.

You are all very sweet in complimenting me on the pages--honestly, if I can do it, anyone can do it. I still have a lot to learn and I hope my kids will be happy with the pages I DO get done, even if I am not all that thrilled about them.

Future

Some of you have asked what our plans are for the future. That's a good question. I ponder that frequently. Here's what we do know:

• After 6 years of graduate school (4 dental, 2 orthodontics), Jeff will be finished with school June 28th. I couldn't be more proud of him and his dedication. That is a post in itself and I'll save it for another day.
• We will be moving in to the basement of the Trapnell Compound this summer. At one time we lived in the "Love Loft" (before kids), but are now moving up in the world and get to occupy the basement apartment. It's not much (if any) smaller than what we are living in now: 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, laundry room, entrance from the garage...it's very nice. It's unclear how long we will be there (until we find a house we love enough to make a very BIG commitment to). If you ask Jeff he'll say we'll be there a year or less. If you ask me I say six months or less. I have a very good relationship with my in-laws and I'm not worried about any problems, but I am just really ready to be in our own house. I understand that it's a big commitment and we need time to really look and find our perfect fit. I just hope we can find it sooner rather than later.
• The three months in between are in limbo. Most likely we will need to be out of this house in a month (the man here the other night has made an offer on the house and wants to be in May 6th). This is where things get a little tricky. Damon doesn't finish school until June 5th, and I am not crazy about any of the options that include leaving my boys here. We are currently looking for a place to rent for a month or two, packing up the majority of our stuff and moving it across the country, leaving only the essentials here for us to use until we are ready to leave. It's crazy, and now that I feel this sudden rush, I'm not exactly sure how to feel. I guess we'll just take it as it comes and figure out one thing at a time.

Okay. Now to alleviate some of the stress you are all feeling (is it just me?), here are a couple quotes from the kids.

1. Only a few minutes ago I could hear Kyla in the kitchen and sent Allie in to investigate what she was doing in there. Imagining many different scenarios, I thought I was prepared for what I'd hear. I wasn't ready for this one: "She's eating all the tuna." Sure enough, tuna covered her face. Now, I know she can't open the fridge and the tupperware of tuna by herself...definitely fishy, don't you think? :)

2. The other night we were tucking the kids in bed and Jeff said, "Alright, goodnight you little monsters." Allie took offense to this comment and said, "We are NOT little!"

Now I'm off to my day. I may not know what the future holds exactly, but I do know what today holds--laundry, some cleaning, and washing tuna off of Kyla's face and sour cream out of her hair (also courtesy of Allie this morning).

A few pages

Here are a few of the pages I have been working on. I don't claim to be a very good scrapper, but I have realized that just average pages are better than nothing at all. I like to put a lot of pictures on, and a lot of my pages end up looking the same. Tips would be appreciated. Thanks Becky for helping me figure out how to post them!

New Trick

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books Someone learned a new trick! Thanks Noel for the footage (and for acting so excited!).

Showings

So, Heather wanted to see some of the scrapbook pages I have been working on, but I haven't figured out how to post them yet. Anyone want to lend a hand, let me in on the secret? I exported them to a file in my documents, but that didn't work. Any assistance would be appreciated.

This week has been a busy one. After months of no action on the house (not IN the house, mind you:), suddenly things have picked up. Jeff's dad owns the house we live in and is really anxious to sell, even though it means he is going to lose money on it. Two days ago I got a call from Remax asking if they could show it at 3:30 and I said sure, a little surprised. I started straightening a few things (meaning, hiding books under the bed, etc) and mopped the kitchen floor. At 2:00, I heard people outside the front door, and assuming it was my kids coming back from Julie's I went to let them in. Imagine my surprise when it was a family trying to let themselves in with the key from our lock box. After nearly giving the woman a heart attack, I told her that I wasn't expecting them until 3:30 and wasn't ready (the floor was still wet, for heaven's sake!). She informed me that she was not the 3:30 showing but an earlier one. One that I hadn't been told about. Frustrating. I told her to give me a minute so I could quickly make a few last minute changes (hiding toys under beds) and hoping that the floor would dry quickly. I woke Kyla up from her nap and went to get the rest of my kids from Julie's. I must have taken too long because the potential buyers had left.

Jeff called a few minutes later and asked what was going on. He had gotten a call from the realtors and they told him, "We tried to show the house, but your wife turned them away." Yes, that was exactly what happened. I filled him in with the TRUTH and he said they were back on their way to the house. The kids and I packed up and headed to the mall to play (oh, and to spend a lot of money at Children's Place where they were having 30% off their sale prices!). We stalled long enough for both groups of people to look the house over and headed home. But not before returning the flip flops and shorts I found in our stroller, unpaid for (Allie means well, but she didn't even manage to shoplift things in her sizes).

After being informed of another showing for Wednesday, Jeff and I spent Tuesday night cleaning the carpets (they desperately needed it and we desperately needed motivation), disassembling the broken coffee table and hiding a few more things under beds. I also cleaned the back porch, which was quite an ordeal. We had to be out of the house for the 5:00 showing so I took the kids on an exciting outing to Publix. They snacked on their free cookies and we browsed all the aisles (some twice) and visited the restroom. I managed to remember to get one of the two things I really needed (forgot the poppy seeds, but I do have that drug test coming up, so maybe it was for the best). All of that took 30 minutes, so we visited Jeff at school as he was finishing. We got home, wondering if anyone had even come at all (it's hard to tell sometimes) and we found a surprise in the bathroom. Someone had rubbed deodorant all over the mirror without my knowledge. What you gonna do?

Anyway, I got another call today. Apparently, someone is very interested and wants to come tonight at 7:00 to see it again. I hope they want to buy it. I am tired of cleaning every day. Oh, and I hope they weren't too fond of the deodorant on the mirror. It's no longer there. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Baby Instruction Manual

My friend Sara sent this to me in an email. I must have been in just the right mood, because I couldn't stop laughing. Jeff thought it was mildly entertaining; Damon found it hilarious. Glad to know I'm on my five-year old's level.