Four years old

Kyla turned 4 on May 24th. And I just couldn't do another birthday party, although she had talked about nothing else since Allie's birthday in April. So we compromised. I told her she could invite 4 friends and we would take them to Kangaroo Zoo (a place with all the bounce houses) and then come back home for dessert and presents. She agreed.

We went the day before her birthday, because the kids get out of school earlier and Jeff was going to be home. I wish I could have bottled up the excitement oozing out of the kids as they ran into Kangaroo Zoo. I would sell it to thrill seekers and make a fortune. It was the perfect place for her "party," as it wasn't real crowded, I wasn't worried about anyone getting lost, and I didn't have to provide any of the entertainment.

This is Kyla and one of our neighbor girls, Olivia, posing on a bounce house.

Carter wasn't so sure about the whole thing. He kept trying to get out the door and take off. Who knows why. Eventually, though, he found something he loved more than anything--a step stool. He carried it around, occasionally putting it down to make sure he could still climb on it.

You can see him eyeing Allie suspiciously as she nibbles on a corner of the bounce house. Jeff took him on a few of the big slides and he cried in terror. Oh well. His favorite bounce house was, ironically, the scariest of them all. It was designed to look like the mouth of a giant toothed animal (I can't remember if it was a dinosaur or a dragon...), and was dark and creepy. He kept taking his step stool over to it and trying to get in. Strange little man.

Allie and Damon were lucky enough to tag along for the party and had just as much fun as the little kids.

After the kids had had their fill of fun, we went back home and opened presents, had some mini corn dogs and cupcakes and ice cream. Kyla, truthfully, doesn't like cake all that much, so I convinced her she didn't need a cake that she wasn't going to eat anyway. I was really feeling stressed about daily life and fortunately for me, she was more than willing to go along with my simplified birthday ideas.

She is holding her precious Barbie from Grandma (complete with hair extensions that you can "cut" off) and a cupcake. I think she may have licked the frosting off. Maybe.

Overall, it was really low key and everyone seemed just fine with it. Although, the next day Kyla asked when we were going to do her party and play games. Hmmm...maybe I didn't do a good enough job explaining what her party entailed...

On her actual birthday, I took her Sonic for her free wacky pack and to Coldstone for her free ice cream (LOVE birthday clubs online). This is a pic from my phone so it's not the best quality, but she was sure happy with her cotton candy/white chocolate chip concoction. I was more than happy with my sweet cream/Oreo treat myself.

This is a pic of Kyla with her two friends on our street. Kyla is the oldest, born on May 24. Gwen turns 4 on June 4 and Olivia is 4 May 31. So fun to have them so close in age.

Finally, here are four things I love about my four-year-old:

1. She is very affectionate. She is always expressing love for everyone. When Allie leaves for school, she says, "Bye Allie, I love you," even if Allie doesn't respond.

2. She loves to pray. Her prayers usually include something about Satan ("please bless that I won't drown and that Satan will instead,") and always include asking for blessings that she won't have any bad dreams. Fear has set in with her at night time.

3. She thinks everything is "cute." And she always wants to be cute. I think she is.

4. She is very agreeable, and when she's in a good mood (not always, but often), she is very helpful and does more than her share of the work. Allie loves this, too.

Happy birthday KyKy!

Carter's Temp Agency

Remember back when I posted about what jobs I thought my kids would be suited for? This "temp agency" is dedicated to Carter.

Carter would be a great shoe salesman. He loves shoes. Several times a day, he brings me different shoes to admire and comment on. The only problem is that his feet are thick (more like stumps than anything else) and very few shoes fit him. He'll have to be an admirer only.

Carter would also make a good soil tester. I'm not sure what the official scientific name for that kind of profession is, but it's a nice way of saying Carter loves dirt. He likes "testing" it by tasting it. He also loves tasting soaps, sanitizers and lotions if you know of anything in that field.

Carter is also an excellent climber. I think he may have a future in mountain climbing. I'm not sure he is Sherpa quality, though, because of his respiratory issues, but he may be able to handle the lower 48 states.

Here he goes, starting his ascent...

...and at the top with his accomplice.

As you well know, Carter loves to eat, so we may be able to get him into competitive eating successfully. Watch out Joey Chestnutt, Carter has his eye on t

he Fourth of July hot dog eating challenge this summer.

But I think he may be best suited for a career in modeling. When I put him in a tie, I just knew we had something special. Who wouldn't want to buy what he's selling?

Two Months

McKay is now two months old. He still seems little to me, but when I look at pictures of him last month, it's obvious he's getting bigger. That, and the fact that size 1 diapers keep leaking remind me that he's growing up. Next week he'll get his shots (I think I'll be very relieved to have him immunized against whooping cough, as there has been lots of babies hospitalized this winter before they had a chance to be immunized) and I'll post more then.

Here are some recent shots. I think he's starting to grow into his Trapnell cheeks, which was inevitable. But maybe he'll be the runt of the family and never match up to Damon and Carter. We'll see...

Okay, here's a fun game. Guess which one is Carter at two months and which one is McKay at two months.

#1

#2

Well, that wasn't really too hard. They don't look that much alike. (Carter is #1, McKay #2)

Here are a couple more with the moose. I like the boxer pose in the first one.

McKay is not extremely fussy, but he also isn't extremely content, either. I'm withholding judgment until he is 3 months old because I'm still holding on to hope that he's going to be a good baby. And right now he's not awful. But not exactly easy, either.

He does have a great smile.

And I LOVE a sleeping baby.

This is just a cute look.

He's started doing a little better at night. Twice he has slept from 11:00-4:00 and a couple other times from 11:00-3:30. One night I didn't swaddle him (the blanket was downstairs and I didn't want to come look for it) and he did NOT do well. So, swaddle it is.

I also give him on average 4-6 ounces of formula a day, in addition to nursing. I just don't make quite enough milk (even with Fenugreek) and sometimes he needs a little extra. We'll see how long I can make it this time around.

For the future, here is my list of things I couldn't do without:
1. Swaddle Me blanket. I never have tried the Miracle Blanket (it was too pricey for me), but this one works well. Better than any others that I've tried.

2. Bouncy chair and/or swing. I need to put McKay down in places that I know he won't be harassed by Carter (Carter likes to steal his binkies). I can put him in the swing in my bathroom while I shower and lock the door, or in his bouncy chair on the kitchen counter while I am cooking, cleaning, etc. I know he's safer there (while I'm nearby) then he would be on the floor, where Carter can get him and love him.

3. Binkies. They have seriously saved me with all my babies. I like to take them to the hospital and get them going from day one. I used to use MAM but have switched to Nuk, just because they were the first to go BPA free. Now, most everything is BPA free so it really doesn't matter. But I don't know what I would do without them.

4. A baby tub that fits over the kitchen sink. I used to hate bath time with babes, because it killed my back leaning over the big tub. But whoever invented a baby tub that fits over the sink was a genius.

5. Boppy. Seriously the best pillow for nursing, lounging, helping kids hold babies and other things.

6. Breast pump. I have gone through two Medela Pump in Styles and I don't know how I would survive without them (I have only had to replace one when the other was lost, not that it stopped working at all). Even though I mostly just breastfeed, it's invaluable to leave a bottle home when I leave for an hour to play Futsal. I also like knowing how much my baby is eating.

Those are the essentials. Everything else, while nice, I probably could do without.

Moms

Mother's Day is a great time to reflect on why I love being a mom. Because I do. Most of the time.

Reminder #1-It's nearing 10:00 am. Damon is at school, I have just finished nursing the baby and he is fast asleep, and the girls are watching tv. Carter is beyond ready for a morning nap, not to mention he needs his diaper changed and clean clothes. So I carefully snuggle McKay into Allie's arms and take Carter up to his closet. Yes, he sleeps in a closet.

I change and dress him and feel the need to put him quickly in his bed, as I can hear that McKay is now crying downstairs. Apparently, Allie isn't as comfy as mommy. But before I can put Carter in bed, he finds Goodnight Moon on the shelf and hands it to me, sitting down in my lap. Knowing that his attention span for books is all of 5 seconds, I can't refuse. So I open the book and start reading it to him. But he doesn't care about the words. He just wants to point to the pictures on the page and babble nonsense words. And my heart melts.

Suddenly, I'm thinking about the hundreds of hours I spent with one-year-old Damon on my lap, reading thousands of books. He didn't have to fight for his mommy's attention. He didn't have to sleep in a closet.

So I stay there, pointing out kittens and mittens, cows and moons for a little longer. McKay can wait. Allie will be patient with him. I'm enjoying being a mom to Carter.

Allie took this picture of the three of us. It breaks my heart a little to see how much he wants his mommy.

***

There are so many hard moments. At least one kid is crying almost all the time. That doesn't bother me. But when two kids are crying, I start to get a little agitated. And when three or even FOUR of the five kids are crying (which has only happened once), I feel like joining in myself. This morning, Allie decided she wanted to fight me on everything; she didn't like her hair, she didn't want to clean her room, and she certainly wasn't going to give in to anything I said. And so there was a LOT of crying on her part. Carter refused his morning nap, and was especially grouchy by 10:30. And McKay just felt like crying. It was a stressful couple of hours until Allie went to school and Carter went to bed. Now it's just an unpleasant memory.

***

Reminder #2-Having kids means lots of funny moments, too.

One day, we were driving in the car and talking to the kids about cliches. We were giving examples, such as, "Hold on to your horses," and "Holy smokes." Kyla, from the backseat, came up with one of her own. "Hold on to your smokes!," she yelled.

This morning, before Damon left for school, he was attending to McKay while I cleaned up breakfast. He called down, "McKay's back hair is curly!" I was a bit confused. I had never noticed my baby having curly hair on his back. And that is definitely something I would have noticed. When I asked for clarification, he said, "the hair on the back of his head is curly!" Phew.

***

Having a baby is hard. Especially when I have so many other people to care for. At least once a day, McKay cries himself to sleep in his swing or his bouncy chair because I just can't get to him. There are so many other little people (and sometimes big people) who need me. My left shoulder always smells like spit up. I'm tired and grouchy and irritated because there are always so many messes to clean up. There just isn't enough of me to go around.

***

Reminder #3- Dinner is cooking and is nearly done. It's chaotic, because all the kids are hungry and have been making messes while I have been cooking dinner. But I have to stop and take a break because McKay is hungry, too. And I can't ignore him forever. So I go into his room and shut the door behind me. I could use a few minutes of quiet, too.

I nurse McKay and he falls asleep. I put him up on my shoulder to burp him, and stop for a moment to breathe in his newborn goodness. I can hear the kids getting antsy downstairs. Part of me says I should hurry and get dinner on the table. But I don't listen to that voice. I listen to the one that tells me to snuggle with my baby a little longer. His legs are curled underneath him, pressing against my still flabby tummy, and I know that it won't be long before he won't want to be all curled up on me.

And so I rock him, savoring his even breathing on my neck, and wish we could stay like this forever. Because even though there may not be enough of me, physically, to meet his every need, I'll always have more than enough love to give. And I think that's what it means to be a mom.

Allie's 6!

I'm so behind.

Allie turned 6 on April 30. She had been thinking about her big day for months. And she wasn't feeling well and her birthday ended up being kind of a bummer. But she acted like it wasn't. Good girl.

We had her birthday party with all the neighbor kids. It was fun. Allie said next year Damon isn't invited because all of the kids wanted to jump on the trampoline with him instead of playing with her. I seem to remember Heather saying I did the same thing to her at her birthday parties...

I didn't get her cake finished until Sunday (we had been at a niece's baptism the morning of Allie's party), and Allie was too sick to even blow out her own candle. Sad. The cake was definitely not what I envisioned (it's supposed to be a castle. Jeff thought it was a pinata), but oh well. Damon and Kyla had fun decorating it with me while Allie slept on the couch (she had strep).


I sure love my Allie girl. I love this picture of her and McKay. She is very helpful (when she wants to be) and so tender hearted. She is working on brushing her hair multiple times a day so she can grow it long and not cry so much about getting it combed. She has the craziest hair I've ever seen. It can be clean and smooth one minute, and the next it is a wild tangle. I don't understand how it gets that way. But she is determined to grow it out longer and so she's trying to keep it from getting TOO tangled.

Allie has a very vivid imagination. Which is a nice way of saying that she tells lots of fibs. I was reading her journal from school and everything she wrote about never actually happened (unless, of course, I taught her a Hawaiian song on her ukulele and we got a hot tub) and she is still full of stories about people in her class. I mostly praise her for her fictional stories and tell her she should be a writer. Hopefully it isn't indicative of a future of lying.

Here are six things I love about Allie:
1. She has the most expressive eyes. I love looking at her when she is happy.
2. She is a great big sister to Kyla. Usually, she loves to play with Kyla and they get along very well.
3. She loves to sing with GUSTO. As long as her nerves don't take over (the way they did on Mother's Day where she giggle through the entire primary medley), she is the loudest singer in primary.
4. She dances and checks herself out in the mirror but is far too self-conscious to let anyone see her acting like a diva.
5. She is a fantastic reader.
6. She is very good about reminding me about things we need to do (reading scriptures, taking her medicine, watering her plants, etc). She is great about keeping me on track, which I really need.

A Typical Day

I was thinking recently that my life has become very predictable. And I know one day it will be completely different and this time of life will all be a distant memory. So I thought it would be fun to document what a typical day is like for me. So that I can look back later and remember.

7:45-I pull myself out of bed. McKay is sleeping next to me, having been there for several hours. The kids are all up and watching a kid show. Carter is knocking at my door, whining for food, poopie, and Jeff is getting ready for work. I change Carter's diaper, come downstairs and start making breakfast (oatmeal, cracked wheat or other hot cereal). While it's cooking, I get Carter a banana or a piece of toast to stop the whining. I unload the dishwasher and get breakfast on the table.

8:00-8:30-We eat breakfast while reading the Book of Mormon. Carter refuses to let me feed him, crying nonstop so that I will leave the cereal on his high chair tray so he can feed himself. McKay starts crying upstairs and I go get him out of his swaddle and smile as he stretches his little arms. I bring him back down and we finish reading and the kids finish eating. Jeff is off to work. I finally sit down and eat my own breakfast. Carter is covered in cereal, because one of the kids has taken pity on him and given him his bowl so he can feed himself.

8:30-9:00-Damon gets himself ready for school, makes his lunch, and waits for the neighbor to come pick him up. The girls watch another show while I try to get breakfast (and Carter) cleaned up. I wash the high chair tray for the first time. Then I nurse the baby, and if it's the left side, I give him an ounce of formula after he's finished. All the while, I check Facebook on my phone for updates.

9:00-10:00-I try to squeeze in 30 minutes of exercise (a new development, suddenly more important after learning that a lot of people have struggled getting weight off after they got a Mirena) and then get in the shower. 1-3 kids join me, while McKay watches from his swing. He usually lasts for a few minutes without crying, but spends the majority of our shower time crying in his swing.

10:00-Everyone gets dressed and Carter goes down for his first nap. While holding McKay, I help the girls make their beds and I make my own bed and Jeff's. We are currently separated at night, not due to marital problems, but due to my belief that one of us should get a good night's sleep. That, and I love the bed in McKay's room. So soft.

10:30-11:30-I try to get things picked up around the house. Inevitably, there is a huge mess somewhere and I put McKay in his bouncy chair while I try to clean up. He lasts 5 minutes max before he cries and I feel defeated. I silently curse Jeff and the kids for not helping me more and get McKay out of his seat. I try to clean up while holding him. I nurse him again, catching an episode of 16 and Pregnant on the computer. This always makes me feel better about my own life and I get my second wind.

11:30-12:30-After McKay has fallen into a drunken sleep, I put him down again and tell the girls it's time to start thinking about lunch. I get Carter out of bed and bring him down for lunch. We have lunch, after a lengthy debate about who does or doesn't like ravioli and who wants to have quesadillas instead. I help Allie get dressed for school and go through the horrifying process of combing her hair. Tears are shed by many. McKay is crying again from his seat. Finally, Allie is ready for school and she waits for the neighbor to pick her up. I get McKay out of his seat and make lunch for Jeff. Sometimes I wait until he gets home to eat and sometimes I just eat alone, depending on how starving I am by now. I clean up lunch, wash the high chair tray for the second time, and say good-bye to Jeff as he goes back to work.

12:30-3:30-With the big kids gone, Kyla asks if she can do the "three fun things:" play the computer, watch tv, and play my phone. I let her do one of the three, then try to get her to do something else, like color or read books with me or practice writing her letters. That lasts about 5 minutes before she is asking to do another of the three fun things. Carter goes back down for his second nap around 1:30 or 2:00, depending on when he woke up, and I nurse the baby again, catching up on blog posts. I also try to get something cleaned (toilets, floor, vacuum, etc., saving the vacuuming for when McKay is really fussy. He loves the vacuum).

3:30-5:30-Damon and Allie get home from school and we have snack. Carter wakes up in time to eat again. I wash the high chair tray for the third time and pray that the weather is good enough to send the kids outside. If it is, we play outside or even take a walk to the park. If it's not, we stay inside and watch everything get messy again. Carter gets whiny after a while, and I try to ignore his crying. I start thinking about dinner and try to get that going. I nurse the baby again.

5:30-6:00-Jeff gets home from work and we eat dinner, McKay on my lap. Then we try to get dinner cleaned up, and I load the dishwasher. I wash the high chair tray for the fourth time.

7:00-Carter's crying reaches the tipping point, and we get him ready for bed. The other kids finish homework and beg to play Tickle Monster with Jeff.

7:30-We tell Kyla that it's her bedtime and send her to get her jammies and toothbrush. We say family prayer.

7:45-Kyla finally gets in bed, after begging me to pray with her that she won't have any bad dreams. Especially that one about the baby who was trying to bite her. She's been worried about that one for weeks now.

8:00-We send Allie and Damon to get ready for bed. They instantly want to read to us, but only after it's 8:00. Sometimes we give in, sometimes we tell them they need to read to themselves.

8:15-8:30-the kids are all in bed with minimal crying. Jeff and I sit down to watch a show and I nurse the baby again. I look around to see the house is a mess AGAIN and I'm too tired to do anything about it.

9:00-11:30-Jeff and I enjoy the time without the rest of the kids while McKay fusses off and on. We watch our shows and NBA playoffs and I fall asleep on the couch. Dazed, at some point I wake up and go get ready for bed. I take McKay and get him ready for bed as well. I nurse him again and put him in his own bed. I get in bed and we sleep for 3-4 hours.

3:00-I nurse McKay again. Sometimes he doesn't fall back asleep easily so he gets in bed with me and I pat his back until I fall asleep and he squirms again. The cycle continues for an hour or so until we both pass out.

5:30-I nurse him again, this time in bed because he's there with me. We go back to sleep.

7:00-I hear the kids downstairs and try to catch a few more minutes of sleep.

7:45-I drag myself out of bed and start the routine again.

There are some variations, such as laundry day on Monday, or park day with Noel (for Kyla) on Wednesday, but by and large, that is what we do. Pretty dang exciting.