April/May Funnies

I didn't have enough quotes from April, so here are the past two months of funny things I actually remembered to write down.

Kyla, talking about our neighbor, Joseph, who is a month older than McKay: "Jofiss still drinks milk out of Melissa's nipple!"

I asked Carter to stop playing with Jeff's iPad. He said, "no MY pad!"

Carter caught on quick while we were playing "Do You Love Your Neighbor?" for FHE. He answered every question with, "mumble mumble shoes" or "mumble mumble 'Ona,"both of which were answers given earlier in the game (I don't like people wearing shoes, I don't like people who went to Arizona). Probably had to be there for that one, but trust me. It was Hi-larious.

Allie, talking to her friend: "You don't know Chance?! He's our angel. He died when he was born and it was so sad." (she wasn't even born then)

Carter asked me what color something I was. I told him "white." He said, "oh, wipe."

Kyla, looking for a ring that holds the measuring spoons together: "Where's the hooker?"

Carter ripped one and said, "I have one gas." I asked him where, to clarify, and he said, "in my bum."

Carter was crying and crying and crying one afternoon and I was doing my best to ignore him, sitting at the piano. He came up to me and declared, "I'm not a bad mood!"

Allie drew me a picture and it said: By Allie To Mom With love and care

Kyla and I were talking about Satan and how he tries to tempt you to do things that are wrong. She told me, "Like how he got Eric to wear undies." (My previously endowed brother no longer wears his garments)

Carter, holding a flip flop high above his head like a Samurai warrior: "Can I hit Bubba?"

Allie, when a baby quail tried to jump out of my hands: "He flew in your bodice!"

Carter, at church one day, looked out the window and saw my van. "Mom van!," he said. Then he looked at me and said, "mom fun."