I have been really trying to be less negative with my children, emphasizing the positive as much as I can. Instead of telling them what they can't do, I have been trying to find ways to tell them what they can do. "You can play with friends after you finish homework," "You can eat lunch after your toys are picked up," "You can come out of your room when you are finished wailing..." I don't know if it makes a big difference, but at least it gets me focused more on the positive.
My sister recently alerted me to an awesome resource for parents, leadingfamilies.com. An amazing professor (and counselor) from BYU, Dr. Scoresby, writes articles on all sorts of topics of interest. I was reading some of the his latest articles, and found this one that I really liked. Check it out if you get a second.
Okay, so here is something I would like to work on with my kids. I want them to (consistently) eat sitting at the table. We have a small table in the kitchen for the kids, and it's so convenient for me to serve breakfast, lunch or snacks there (dinner we eat together in the dining room, and that's not a problem). Often, though, I am rushing around doing other things, and I'm not in the kitchen to monitor their eating. And while they are mostly good about staying off the carpet while eating, they are definitely prone to wandering around the tiled floor, leaving behind a mess. They start off at the table, but eventually end up somewhere else (usually when I am out of sight). Any suggestions? Do I just need to make sure I am in the kitchen at all times to remind them? Do I need to have them "practice" eating at the table every time I see them get up, instead of just ending the food session? Any thoughts?
10 comments:
Your kids are old enough that you could do a reward system. Give them a small treat if they stay at the table the whole time and then gradually work toward giving them stickers, or adding stars to a chart, etc. I know this works so great with my oldest.
Either that or just duct-tape them to their chairs. That works too.
I am totally with you on the sitting down to eat at the table. I think that is so important! I too need to be more positive. I was listening to a mother at a children's museum this weekend and it seemed everything that came out of her mouth was telling her kids not to do this and not to do that and it made me take a second to think about how I am with luke. You are a wonderful mother krystal! They are lucky to have you and jeff as parents!
Krystal, if you ever figure out a way to keep them at the table, let me know. You great moms go before me and lead the way!!
let me know if you figure it out. my kids do great staying in the kitchen, but you'd think there is some fire under their chairs or something - they get up 97 times a meal to do who knows what. and it isn't a big deal and it shouldn't bug me, but it drives me crazy!! at least anthony will stay seated because he is strapped in!
we've been trying to do the stay at the table thing and they have to be excused if they want to go. sometimes when i have the energy, i will just grab them if they've wandered into a different room and put them in time out....don't even tell them why, they know why. after a few min of their whining i say why are you in time out? are you ready to eat food at the table? they still wander though...but it's getting a little better.
we've been trying to do the stay at the table thing and they have to be excused if they want to go. sometimes when i have the energy, i will just grab them if they've wandered into a different room and put them in time out....don't even tell them why, they know why. after a few min of their whining i say why are you in time out? are you ready to eat food at the table? they still wander though...but it's getting a little better.
I would love to read that article sometime...I usually sit down to the computer to catch up when they are eating breakfast...maybe I should change that up a bit. I do know it's important, but they also have such a good time hangin' out together and doing their cereal thing, they have some kind of routine of talking about the same silly jokes, it's kinda cute.
I give my kids fake money that I've made and laminated (called Farley Fun Bucks). Each time I catch them doing something good, they get a buck. They can collect those and then turn them in for a treat or prize (we have a list of prizes and how many Fun Bucks they cost) or they can just keep saving them for something bigger. It teaches them good behavior and also how to save "money." There is also a good website I've found called: www.Parenting-advice.net
The author of Raising Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice writes articles for it and answers any questions you might have. You could submit your question to her and see what she says.
ok, here is my two cents.
we had the same problem. but then i cracked down and told the kids that if they left the table, they were DONE.
is that harsh? maybe. i bet it is, but now they don't leave until they ARE done unless they need to use the bathroom. and that is allowed. but it did take a few days of me staying nearby so i could catch them doing it.
yah. harsh. but it worked.
good luck.
shand
I'm looking forward to you posting about getting your kids to stay seated. The only thing that works for me is staying in the kitchen and prepping dinner during breakfast and lunch or cleaning. So my kitchen is clean, except if I go off to move laundry, then there's food everywhere.
And I love the eliminate the negative goal.
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