No way I would be doing this...

Two more stories from the "I would never be doing this if I weren't a mom" file.

#1 On Saturday we headed to Eden, UT (east of Ogden, right by Wolf Mountain ski resort) so Jeff could pick up his new (used) car (a 2001 Toyota 4Runner). Damon and Allie wanted to stop at the Air Force museum on the way home, but Kyla was ready for a nap and would not have had much fun there (there probably would have been slapping and cheek squeezing involved, had she been forced to attend). Jeff decided to take D &A to the museum and I brought Kyla home with me. It was a nice, pleasant drive and she slept the whole way. I got off in Orem because I needed to pick something up from my aunt's house. Knowing that I had a couple of hours before Jeff got home, and only having one, well-rested child to worry about, I decided to stop at a couple of stores (logical, right?)

We went to Old Navy first, just to see what kinds of deals they were having. I buckled Kyla into a cart and started browsing. A few minutes later, Kyla announced, "poo-poo" and made a face I am well familiar with. Most of you are probably aware that Kyla poops more than either of my other two kids ever did. She usually has at least two poopie diapers a day, but it is not uncommon for her to have three or four. It gets rather annoying, but at least I just have one in diapers, not three like my sister, TARA. Anyway, I wasn't too concerned about Kyla, and I knew I had a diaper in my purse, so I continued browsing for a while before making my way back to the dressing rooms. But when I pulled her out of the cart, I knew we had a problem. Her pants were a little wet, and I could see a huge green stain covering half of her shirt (she had a coat on, though, so it wasn't totally obvious). After trying on my items, I scurried to the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I knew it was bad, but I was not yet aware of the extent of what I was dealing with. Lying her on the changing table, I removed her clothes, and instantly wanted to run away rather than deal with what was waiting. She was wearing a size 3 diaper, as I have been reluctant to move her up, even though she is right at the edge of the weight recommendation, and she had been wearing the same one all day, which meant it was also very wet. She had eaten Fruit Loops for breakfast, which explained the lovely green color, and it was leaking out of every crevice possible. I removed all her clothes and discovered that the green poop covered most of her body.

So, like any mom would do (and NO ONE else), I dipped her onesie in the toilet to rinse the residual poop away and plopped Kyla into the sink for the first bath she has ever taken at Old Navy. Not to worry, I was in a clothing store after all. I put a clean diaper on her, but had no clean clothes for her to wear. I put her slightly soiled pants and coat back on for the time being then bought her two shirts for $3 each. Thank goodness for Tiny Prices for Tiny People. I also bought her a pair of jeans and after a hasty change in the car, she was good to go.

It was not exactly the way I planned to spend my afternoon, but with kids, nothing ever seems to go as planned.

#2 Last night my niece was getting Kyla in her pajamas, and she was, of course, poopie. I was upstairs cleaning up dinner when the kids came screaming that there was poop all over. Jeff and I came down to find that one of the children (Damon, as it turns out) had accidentally stepped on the poopie diaper as it lay on the floor and run through the house, unaware that with every step he was spreading poop all over. There must have been a dozen spots leading from the family room to his bedroom. And so, because I'm the mom, I spent the next half hour scrubbing poop from the carpet.

I never thought I would be one to force potty-training on my kids, but after the last couple of days, I am seriously considering it with Kyla (no, that's not true. I'm not considering anything, but WISHING that I could). How many more "mom experiences" will I get to have with this child? At the present rate, it seems it will be far too many.

I know this is becoming a very long post, but I wanted to include a couple pictures of Kyla (no, not of the pooping incident, of which I have no proof). She falls and hits her head nearly every day, causing various bumps and bruises on her noggin. Sunday night she had a good one, and when I say good I mean horrible.

She fell from her booster seat on to the tile floor (one of the reason she falls so much is because she doesn't like sitting while eating and unless she is belted in, will be standing). You can see the goose egg on her head. She was not a happy girl.

Jeff couldn't even stand looking at her, it was so disturbing. All I could think was that a few more knocks on the head, and she could end up looking like this:

Either I need to be more consistent about buckling her in, or I need to teach her to say, "HEY YOU GUYS!"