Big Families

Yesterday was the most gorgeous day we have had in 2011. And once upon a time I promised the kidlets that we would go to the park when it was warm enough. Yesterday was the day. AND they wanted to walk.

I knew it was going to be hard, because, let's face it, I get winded going up and down the stairs (especially if I'm carrying my 25 lb "big boy" who can't be called a "baby" anymore), but I broke out the double stroller, some pretzels and water, and we were off.

We stopped along the way to pick up a friend who wanted to play, and my neighbor said, "Krystal, you have a lot of kids." All I could do was laugh and agree ("smile and wave, boys, smile and wave"--Penguins of Madagascar). I DO have a lot of kids. And we are 12 days (and 9 cm) away from having one more.

I once read a blog post about why big families are the best, and it really got me thinking about why I wanted to have so many kids (and come on, five kids isn't THAT many!). I hope I don't plagarize any of this particular blogger's work, but I don't feel like going back and reading everything she wrote, and seeing as I'm not intentionally trying to steal her thoughts, I think it will be fine.

So, without any more yapping from me, here are the reasons I think big families are the way to go:

1. MANIPULATION. You learn very early on how to be manipulative. There are many ways of manipulating (through guilt, promise of favors to come, promise of good behavior, etc), but they quickly learn them all. Kyla does work for Allie so she will have a playmate, Allie gives Damon erasers she has earned at school so that she can be "in the club," and Carter will do anything for Kyla for a cracker or a fruit snack.

2. PATIENCE. You learn that mom can't always get you what you want WHEN you want it, and you learn to wait. I always remind my kids that, while I wish I had multiple arms, I still have just the two and I will do the best that I can to get them what they need. This is most apparent at meal time, when someone always needs something and needs it now!

3. COOPERATION. You learn that sometimes your only two choices are "take it or leave it." Mom's not going to make you something different for dinner because you don't like meat and potatoes (Kyla) or cooked carrots (Damon). You either eat what everyone else is eating or you go to bed hungry. Also, when it comes to a job everyone is doing together, if you don't cooperate and pull your own weight, your siblings are your toughest police.

4. ACCEPTANCE. You learn that you aren't always going to get something that is only yours. You may never get anything new, but have to wear your sister's hand-me-downs or be forced ride your brother's old bike, and no amount of complaining will change that. Instead, you have to accept that your birthday and Christmas may be the only days you ever get to open something new. And that's perfectly fine.

5. VOCABULARY. Younger kids learn things from older siblings that parents would never teach. Your three-year old knows what it means to have a crush on Jimmer Fredette ("it means I want to kiss him"), and your five year old knows that "The N Word" means "nipples." It's the education you'll never receive in school. Or church.

6. TIME MANAGEMENT. You learn that every Sunday, time seems to be running out on mom. And when you see her running around frantically, her hair in curlers and only part-way dressed, you might want to start looking for your shoes. Because time is running out on you, too.

7. BUDGET. You learn that, because you aren't going to get everything you want, you had better save your money for something that you really want. Like a new set of Legos that your mom has said she'll never buy because your brother likes to eat them. Or an eraser your stubborn sister gave you, but took away because you were being mean.

8. EMPATHY. You learn that you have to gentle with crying babies, stern with bullying neighbors, and understanding with your upset mother. You learn that sometimes the irritated look on your sister's face means she really, really, REALLY wants you to stay away from her, and that when your brother follows you around whining he just wants to see what you are doing. Or eating.

9. FASHION SENSE. You learn that your older sister has the BEST taste in clothes. And that skirts with leggings are preferrable to pants any day.

10. COMPANIONSHIP. You learn that you will always have someone in your corner. Yes, they may treat you worst of all your friends from time to time, but they will always be on your side when it counts. In an argument against your parents, they will side with you. When you are trying to skirt bedtime, they will be your partner in crime. And when you need someone to comfort you when you are afraid of the dark, you'll always have that, too.