Jeff told me a couple of months ago that when he thinks of me (in general), he always thinks of me being pregnant. I laughed and said, "I haven't been pregnant THAT much." But today I decided to do a little math.
I was pregnant with: Damon for 259 days.
Chance-145
Allie-271
Kyla-277
ectopic-30 (which I'm going to count because I thought I was pregnant)
Carter-264
Baby-260 and counting.
The grand total, as of today, is 1506. I have been pregnant for 1,506 days, or 39.1% of our married life. That is a lot, I must admit. Especially when I realize that I have been pregnant for 4.12 years. And if I were to add the time I spent nursing...well, that's a calculation for another day.
**
I hit 37 weeks yesterday. Gulp. My doctor checked to see if I was dilating yet. I'm not. And I'm very relieved. As I was waiting for the doc to come in, I was looking at all the baby pictures on the walls and I started to feel panicky. I'm REALLY not ready to have this baby. Physically, I have been ignoring everything I need to do. But yesterday I went and found the things I need to take to the hospital, and I even looked through the baby boy and girl clothes to pick out something to take with me. I tucked all those things safely away in my closet to think about later. But I took the first step.
Even more so, I am not emotionally ready for another baby. I have been a little bit sick the last few days (I think I finally caught the sore throat that my kids have all had) and feeling really tired. I mean, especially tired. Jeff teases me because after about 9:30 pm, I start to fall asleep. Especially if we are watching anything that doesn't make me laugh. Or if I'm not eating ice cream. But I have been feeling tired all the time lately. I know part of it is the sickness, but part of it is the third trimester blahs. The part that is supposed to make you WANT that baby out. And believe me, I don't want to be pregnant anymore. But given the options, I will take all the aches and pains for a little while longer if it means I can postpone the inevitable.
I know that probably sounds bad, and that I'm not excited for this little one to come to our family. I am excited. I'm just not ready. So, at this point, I would be happy to add 20 more days to the 1,506 I've already been pregnant. What's a few more?
6 comments:
I was just talking about that with my little sister who is having baby #2 and due next week. She was saying that she's nervous to be a mom to more than one, but she's so excited to get the baby out. And I realized that somewhere I have shifted from being a "GET THE BABY OUT NOW!!" type to "Well, I don't think I'm ready for another baby just quite yet, so I'll stick with carrying it around in my tummy and letting it eat inside there..." :) (Not that I'm pregnant...just some feelings I had a little bit with Crew and think I will definitely have with number 4!) You're not crazy at all.
wow! that is a lot of pregnant days!
good luck in your last few days or weeks of pregnancy and I'm sure you will love this new baby so much that all of your worries will go away. I am sure hoping that is the case for me also!
I seriously can't imagine what it's like to have your "two kids close together" come at the very end instead of the very beginning. I can't imagine 5 kids. I totally understand. I'm glad you took some steps to get ready (and I got a little excited that you mentioned putting in a boy outfit and a girl outfit. I can't wait to finally KNOW what you're having! I think it's a boy- despite my dream) and I just hope you won't worry too much. Your whole family will adapt. Worse case scenario, your house won't be as clean, Jeff will have to do the pile of dishes (or you can invest in paper plates for 3 months) and you may or may not have to give your kids cereal for dinner a few times (or every day) but you guys will adapt and be AWESOME!!! Whom Heavenly Father calls, He qualifies. And He's called you to be a mother of 5, with two little ones at the caboose. So he'll help you, whenever that baby decides to come. And I won't be mad if Mom stays longer at your house than she does at mine. :) love ya.
You are amazing. That is a lot of pregnant days, but you have such cute kids!!! Totally worth it.
krystal that is crazy... the things moms do. being pregnant is hard.
well i hope you are feeling good i can't wait to see this lil babe.
Yes, you are amazing. Everyone else already said it! That's a whole lot of pregnancy days...you deserve a nice foot rub for sure (tell Jeff I suggested it :)
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