Acting

I should've made a career out of acting. I have all kinds of experience.

When we were kids, my sister and I played zits in our ward's roadshow production (we were from Zittsburgh). I only remember one thing from that play, and it was the line, "Do you have her brush?" We thought it was hilarious. I wish I knew why.

Some time after that, a group of girls from the neighborhood got together and entered the stake talent show with a coreographed number from "The Little Mermaid." Maybe because I was the oldest, or because I knew all the words to "Kiss the Girl," but somehow I was chosen to be the one lip syncing to the song, a tutu on my waist and a large feather sticking out of my ponytail (the song may not have been that great, but our costume design was phenomonal). I about had a panic attack on stage, but hid it well.

Spurred on by our talent show succes, my sister and I (along with a good friend) made countless music videos to the music of Wilson Philips when I was about 12 or 13 years old. We used the grandfather of video cameras (the one that was so large and bulky you had no choice but to rest it on your shoulder), and shot in a number of different locations (every room in the house, the trampoline, and even on the roof). I have the video evidence to prove it, although there's not much chance of me posting it, as it would probably change the way you looked at me forever.

Junior high brought new opportunities. I took a drama class in eighth grade (okay, it was actually mandatory), and can still remember some of my lines from a scene we did from "Arsenic and Old Lace." It wasn't until our second date that you told my I have nice legs. And I have, too. Really, it was the kind of stuff that should be featured on a "Before They Were Stars" segment on E! I knew I was fantastic (how could I NOT have been?), but unfortunately, playing sports kept me from pursuing acting any further.

A few years later, when I finally became comfortable enough with myself to admit that I wasn't good at everything, I happened upon the conclusion that I was never going to be an actress. Not only that, nothing about acting appealed to me at all; I hate being the center of attention, I am not very emotional, and would much rather spend my time shooting hoops or hitting a softball than sitting around rehearsing. Sadly, we never made another music video, and besides the occasional "family play" (in which we mostly make fun of my mom), my acting career came to an end.

That is, until our family got roped into playing a small part in a play performed at our Relief Society's Elegant Dinner last night. It can hardly be called acting because we didn't actually speak any of the lines, but merely acted out what was being read. Jeff, who is far less experienced in the world of acting than I am, had to pretend to be excited when I announced that I was having a baby (you may recall that I felt like he wasn't very excited when his actual child was born). The baby was born, grew up and became Damon, who had to rush into his daddy's arms as he came home from work.

Being the self-aware person that I am, I knew that my acting wasn't going to inspire any of the ladies watching the production, but instead hoped that they would just feel the spirit of the evening and not be too critical of our less than stellar performance. I was surprised and impressed with how much Damon seemed to enjoy it, and he got many compliments. As for Jeff and me, I don't think there will be much more acting in our futures. Besides the encore we will give tomorrow night at the ward Christmas party.

If only I could convince him to make a music video with me...