A good one

There are some moments in life you could never, ever possibly forget. Even if the rest of your memory had been wiped clean, some things just would always be with you. Like the day you got engaged. Or married. Or the day your mom told you she had cancer. Or the time you drove the car into the kitchen. Some things just have a tendency to stay with you.

I'll never forget the first time we saw Damon, via ultrasound. I was in for my 20 week appointment and witnessed, for the very first time, the miracle that was developing inside me. I got tears in my eyes when he yawned, so big he looked like a lion, right there on the screen. I couldn't believe it was real, and that in just a few short months I was going to become a mother for the very first time. the feelings were vast and numerous, but mostly I felt grateful to have been entrusted with such an honor.

Three pregnancies later, I have since had dozens of ultrasounds after that very first emotional one with Damon. Each time, I have been equally awed and amazed at the miracle of life when I see my babies on the screen. There's just nothing like it. And you'd think I would get used to seeing it and it would somehow lose its wonder. That has yet to happen.

Last Thursday I got to see another little one via ultrasound. After hiding my pregnancy from everyone for nearly 12 weeks, I was extremely anxious to have the opportunity to confirm that the extreme nausea, tiredness, mood swings and bulging waistline were not all in my head, but could be attributed to a healthy, albeit small, baby. It was with more than a little trepidation that I climbed on the table and pulled up my shirt. But as soon as Courtney (my ultrasound tech) put the wand on my belly, I could see our latest miracle. And its heart was racing.

At 12 weeks, there isn't a lot you tell from the ultrasound, other than the heart rate and the size of the baby (170 beats/minute, and 2 inches from head to rump), but for me, it was more than enough. I couldn't help but get emotional as I saw a tiny arm move above the baby's head, and let the tears slide down my cheeks unashamed. It never gets old seeing your baby for the first time. After Courtney finished the ultrasound, she printed off a few customary pictures for me to take to Jeff, and stuck them in my chart. She examined it for a moment, then asked, "was your last pregnancy an ectopic?" I answered in the affirmative, and she said, "Then you were probably really glad to see that everything is fine." Understatement of the year.

If everything goes as planned (alwasy an IF), my due date is Valentine's Day, which means I am now 13 weeks, and HOPEFULLY nearing the end of all the yuckiness that is first trimester. We told our families last week, and news has started spreading among friends in the ward and elsewhere. Ideally, I would try to keep it a secret as long as possible, but I didn't want to keep it a secret any longer. So many of you have been with me through all the ups and downs of pregnancy, and I wanted you to share in this happiness with us. I love you all!