Changes

Back in July, Damon and I ran a 5K. Jeff's office has sponsored a 5K/10K race for the last few years over the 24th of July, and he has always told me we should run in it. So, we set a goal to do it this year and I talked Damon into running it with me (Jeff drives in the lead car to pace the race). 

We "trained" for about two weeks, 3-4 days a week. We would just run 3.1 miles in the morning. This was a big deal for me. I have never been much of a runner. At all. I need a ball something else interesting to keep my attention. Running is boring. And I doubt I have ever run more than one mile straight (unless you count all that conditioning we did in high school...I have no idea how much we ran then). So, 3.1 miles was a lot for me. 

Damon struggled a lot while we were running in the mornings. He would get tired and want to walk, and I tried to push him. We always stopped to walk, but I always made him run again before he felt ready. He was quite negative about the whole thing, really doubting whether or not he'd be able to do it. 

But we were committed. We set a goal to do the whole race in under 30 minutes. Our best time up to that point was 33 minutes, and we had to stop to walk a couple of times. So we planned to run the whole time, starting off slow, and then passing people toward the end.

The race itself wasn't awful. Damon did awesome. We never stopped once and we actually did pass quite a few people during the last mile. Damon finished 3 seconds ahead of me, as I got a phone call right at the end and had to take it, while he sprinted on ahead. Our times were 28:56 and 28:59. We were both really happy. And because daddy is a sponsor, Damon got a medal (we were both 5th in our age group, and the top 3 get a medal. But Damon's age group is 1-14, and only one kid younger than him beat him, so we thought he earned one).

Then on July 31st, I had a small surgery done. And of course, there is quite a story that goes with that. Take a good look at the picture above, especially my chest area. Can't see it? That's because it didn't exist anymore. Six different times producing milk for six different babies really took its toll. I couldn't fill out an A cup. Padded bras helped, but when I put on a sports bra, there was no hiding the fact that I looked more like my 10-year old son than I did a 32-year old woman.

Jeff and I had always joked about when I would get my boob job. But I always thought that day, when and if it came, would be years and years down the road. And so I was more than a little surprised when Jeff told me that he had saved enough money if it was something I wanted to do. He made it clear that he didn't care either way what I did, but if it was something I wanted to do for ME, he was happy to support it (haha, bra joke).

For the first time, I really started thinking about it. And going through reasons for and against the surgery. There were so many reasons to do it. And when it came down to it, there was really only one reason not to do it: what would everyone else think? 

I know having a breast augmentation has become so much more common than it used to be, but there still is a little bit of a stigma attached to it. I didn't want people to think I was doing it to please Jeff, or because I didn't have any self-confidence. That just wasn't true. I also didn't want people to think that I had become this vain person who cared so much about how she looked that she had to see a plastic surgeon. 

But then I realized that all of that didn't matter. People are going to think whatever they want to think. If they think less of me, I honestly don't care. I know who I am and I know the reasons why I wanted to do it, and that's all that really mattered. 

So, I went ahead and did it. Silicone implants on July 31st. Here's a profile pic from the night before. See? Nothing there. 

We told the kids I had the flu for a few days, as I had to rest a lot and couldn't do much around the house. It was a fairly quick recovery, but still very painful and limiting. Jeff was off that week and took on the responsibility of taking care of the kids while I tried to stay awake after taking my painkillers. Luckily, the Olympics were going on and we had plenty to keep us entertained. 

Now I am four weeks out and really loving the results. I am back to my normal activities and almost completely healed. I went bra shopping last week at Victoria's Secret and it was actually fun! And while I think it is super obvious (at least to me), no one has said anything to me. Those who do know have all said that it is not obvious at all, but just looks natural. And that is a relief. 

My sister wants pics in a variety of poses (swimsuit, t-shirt, dress, etc) and I may do that. But for now, I just have one pic that shows the difference. And a little cleavage for the first time...maybe ever. 

The kids are still oblivious. I decided I would tell them that I needed to get a few things fixed after having so many babies (true) if they said anything to me, but they haven't. And I don't think they will. 

I put off writing this post for quite a while, because I wasn't sure I wanted to be real open about it. But I don't feel like I have anything to hide. In fact, I feel like I have something to be proud of now. So if any of my fellow members of the "Itty Bitty Titty Club" are contemplating having this done someday, I am totally on your side!