Being a Baby

Tuesday, day 11, was a great day. Carter decided he had had enough of the hospital and started breathing better. FINALLY. Throughout the day, we turned his oxygen down a little at a time, seeing what he would tolerate. He did fine, even on room air, and it was decided that we could go home. Halle-freakin-lujah. We weren't the least bit sad about packing up all our belongings and getting out of there. Even if it meant not having a nurse available to rock him at 5:00 am while I passed out on the bed from exhaustion. It also meant no one else to bug him, no more monitors or oxygen cannulas to get in the way as I tried to snuggle with him.

The last day in the hospital

Since we have been home, life has been so much better. Carter is doing fantastic. His lungs are clear and he hasn't had any problems at all. The doctor said it's time for him to start being a baby. The hard part is going to be keeping him from getting sick again. The kids aren't allowed to hold him for a little while, and we have been trying to encourage good hand washing every few hours. All we can do is hope that his little body will heal and not fall victim to anything else that is going around. He isn't allowed out, so Jeff and I will switch off going to church. Kyla will probably suffer as much as anyone, since we won't be going to story time at the library or computer class for a while. I am just praying for warmer weather soon so we can at least play outside!

My biggest complaint is that he doesn't want to be put down. He wants to be held all the time. He doesn't like the swing, the bouncy chair, sleeping in his own bed...he likes being held. And he likes sleeping snuggled up to me in bed. For now, I don't mind. I realize that he has been through a whole lot and I am willing to give him a little more love if that is what he needs. It's like we started all over with a newborn and I know I'm going to have to be patient with him.

You can clearly see in his one month shots that he doesn't like being undressed and set down. There was no hope of getting anything without him screaming.


Here's a rare shot of him sleeping on my bed. It lasted about five minutes. Still, too cute.

Here are a few more things I want to write down before I forget.

1. Everyone has been so amazing. We have felt so much love from our family and friends and truly felt their (your) prayers strengthening us. Facebook has been the mass prayer chain, and I'm so grateful for it.
2. One day when Jeff was at the hospital, it snowed a little and I sent Damon out to clear a path for me. It's still too big a job for him to do on his own, so I went out to do it. A teenage boy came running down the hill and offered to finish it for me. I don't know who he is or why he was inspired to come and help, but I'm so grateful for that.

3. Carter weighed 8 lbs 3 oz when he went into the hospital and 8 lbs 4 oz when he came out.
4. All the stress helped me drop another 5 pounds, leaving me with 15 to go to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.
5. Huggies diapers, the kind they use in the hospital, leak and I won't use them for Carter anymore. Pampers all the way!
6. Carter loves his binky and I am so glad. I don't know what we'd do without it. My chest is raw all over again (yes, it really is like having a newborn again after so much time pumping), and I can only take so much sucking.

7. February was a tough month for the Esplin family. I couldn't be happier to welcome March. Hopefully it will be just what we all need to get life back to normal. Or a new normal, anyway. One with the baby being a baby.