Okay, I need to write about this goal of mine because it’s a big one and I’m going to need all the help of my blogger world to keep me going on it. This comes from my reading of Parenting with Love and Logic and it is: I am not going to give my kids an emotional response when they do something wrong. Apparently, the emotional response (anger, etc) is enough to encourage some negative behavior and it’s important to always remain calm so that the child will learn from the situation and not my response.
Sound easy? No, it does not, and believe me, it’s not easy. And my kids immediately have put my new resolve to the test. I found Damon in the bathroom with a sink full of water and water all over the floor. My immediate reaction was to yell at him and tell him to clean it up, but I was able to stop myself and tell him calmly that I expected it to be cleaned up before he went to bed (amazingly, it was). Then, he decided to take an hour long bath by himself last night, and again the floor was flooded and he used 3/4 of a new bottle of baby soap making bubbles (I couldn’t really blame him for that, because I had given him the soap so he could be responsible for washing his own hair and body…next time I will have to do something differently). Again, I didn’t freak out, but asked him what his plan was for getting all the water cleaned up. He did get it cleaned up and even took the wet towels out to be washed. Now we need to have a calm discussion about why I try to keep water off the floor and hope that he understands.
Allie, too, decided to put me to the test. She found a way to get my face moisturizer open and managed to empty the bottle on her body and the carpet. She was so excited about it, too, and I wanted to react in a negative way (freak out). But I managed to keep it together and get her in the shower where she could wash herself off (she didn’t want to get out). I probably should’ve had her help me clean it up off the carpet when she got out, but I didn’t. I’m not exactly sure how to handle the situation now, though, because of course it’s going to happen again. The girl loves lotion and I want to encourage her to always stay moisturized.
The point is, though, that I realize that I freak out way too much when my kids do something that I don’t like and I am going to try to change that. I am sure I will fail from time to time (hopefully less than 50%, though), but I am really going to take some of the things I learned in the book and try to be a better mom. I think my kids deserve it.
Finally, some quotes from today.
“It’s not working.”Allie, laying in bed with me this morning and trying to snuggle. She always tries to get past the belly and always fails.
“The people who come out of President Hinckley’s wife, that’s their dad.”Damon, on the way to story time. I have NO idea what was going on in that little head of his to bring this on, but it made me smile. Doesn’t he have a great grasp of grammar, too?
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