Sunshine

This has been the view I have seen repeatedly over the past four days. I have felt like I was back in Ohio; the gray skies never cleared, and it would rain off and on all day long. There are times I really miss Columbus (mostly the friends we had while we were there), but the last three days have served to remind me that I am just meant to live in a place where the "skies are not cloudy all day."

I have been singing "You Are My Sunshine" to Kyla lately, probably in an attempt to conjure up a little sunny weather, and this song has been exactly what we've needed. Even with my limited singing abilities, Kyla smiles at me, making me believe that she's never heard anything so great in all her (albeit short) life. I even sing the creepy third verse that says "if you leave me to love another you'll regret it all someday," just so I can prolong it, and get back to the chorus.

Silly as it may sound, I got a little teary-eyed yesterday when I got to the part "you'll never know, dear, how much I love you." I couldn't help but think about how I wanted to protect her, shielding her from all the gray skies that are in her future. Out of nowhere, I imagined Allie all grown up, about to become a mother herself, and wondered how it is going to feel to watch my own daughter experience the joy and pain of bringing a child into the world. Despite all the frustration she has caused me in her two plus years (she turned two on April 30th, Jaesi), I can't believe how much I love her. I took both my girls in my arms (Damon was at school, or he would've gotten it too) and squeezed them long and hard. I know I needed that after the trying afternoon/evening we had the other day, and I am always grateful for the Lord's tender mercies in my life.

As I type this, I am looking out the window and I can see blue sky. Ah, what a welcome sight! But, strange as it may sound, I am grateful for the past few days of storminess. They helped me find my sunshine elsewhere--in two little girls who make me happy when skies are gray.