Discouragement

Let me start by saying that Damon is like me in so many ways. Granted, there are lots of things about him that I don't fully understand, or relate to, but there are so many things about him that remind me of myself. We both want to be the best at everything. As an adult, I have had many years to learn that I'm not going to excel at everything, and I'm okay with that. But when I was 9, like Damon is, I hadn't learned that yet.

Last year, when Damon had to make a car for the Pinewood Derby, Jeff did most of the work. Damon picked the basic design, but Jeff basically finished it for him. This year, though, we told Damon it was going to be his responsibility to do most of the work. Jeff could help him with some of the most difficult things, but he was going to do it himself. He ended up with a basic car that weighed exactly 5 ounces. And he was excited about it.

But he found out that it wasn't the fastest car at the derby. It also wasn't the slowest. It was somewhere right in the middle. And unlike last year, there were trophies for the first three cars (and now that we combine with two other wards for scouts, there were also a LOT more boys with cars). He also dropped his car and messed up his wheels just before it was his turn to race, which didn't help matters.

But I could tell by the night's end that he was feeling discouraged. He didn't feel like talking about his car, or things he could do in the future to make a faster car next year. He didn't want to talk about it at all. 

I related to that all too well. That's exactly how I would have acted when I was his age, too. When we got home, I went into his room with him and started telling him that. I told him how I always wanted to be the best at anything, and how I would cry if someone beat me at something. I also told him that I know it's okay to feel sad for a while. It's okay to be disappointed. But that by morning, I expected him to put it behind him and not feel bad anymore. I didn't want him to stay down for long. And to his credit, he was feeling better by the next morning.

***

The morning of the 15th, I woke up and couldn't find my purse. Jeff and I had been out the night before for Valentine's Day, and I knew I had had my arms full of stuff when we had come inside. I wondered if maybe I had left my purse in his car, so I texted him at work. He went and checked. No purse. I continued to look and look and called the only two places I could have possibly left it the night before--Cafe Rio and the grocery store we stopped at on our way home. When I finally talked to the manager of Cafe Rio, he took my information and told me that an employee had thought they had seen a purse, but it was nowhere to be found. He promised me they would do an investigation (and check the security tapes) to see what they could do.

I hung up feeling so stupid. I knew that the simple act of leaving my purse behind was going to be hard to fix. My wallet and my keys were gone (luckily I still had my phone!). I felt sick to my stomach, and I instantly started beating myself up over it. I felt like I was a bad person, who was always screwing up. But it didn't take me long to realize that all those negative feelings were not productive at all. And even more so, I recognized them as untrue. While I make mistakes, I'm not a bad person. I'm not worthless. And a loving Father in Heaven would never want me to feel that way about myself. 

I have learned that discouragement is one of the tools Satan tries to use against me. I am quick to get down on myself and not quick to forgive my own shortcomings. But I have had to learn to love myself anyway. I can remind myself that I am a good person, and and not expected to be perfect yet. I can learn from my mistakes, and hopefully not repeat them, and become better. I don't have to let Satan have any power over me.

I began to feel better. And even when I had to call and cancel the credit cards and go through the process of getting new ones, and a new driver's license and getting the house rekeyed, I just reminded myself that I am still learning, and there was no sense in getting down on myself.

The purse still hasn't been found. And while our credit cards were never used, I am still upset about the $50 I lost and the $100 or so in gift cards that were in my wallet. And while those things won't be able to be replaced, someone from HR at Cafe Rio called and said they would like to buy me a new purse. He told me to go get something that I felt could replace it (it was a hand-me-down Coach bag from my SIL), and to call him and he'd get me a check. So, even though this has been a costly mistake, I still felt as though it was a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father letting me know that He cared about me. 

Hopefully that is another lesson I can share with Damon (and all my kids) when they need to hear it most. 

Cleaning

Sometimes it feels like all I do is clean up after everyone. Because my kids are awesome at making messes. If making messes was an Olympic sport, they would be competing against each other for the gold. And there are five of them and only one of me. So, to say I'm facing an uphill battle to keep things clean around here would be an understatement.

I decided to put the theory to the test, and to prove that I am not actually cleaning ALL the time. I mean, there are those other tasks that I have to do (such as preparing food and hiding out in the bathtub with a book). So I used the stopwatch on my phone, and every time I started to clean something, I would start the timer. I kept track two different days--a typical Monday and a typical Wednesday-- and here are the results:

Monday is always my biggest cleaning day. Things have typically been overlooked during the weekend and there is a lot to do to get everything put back together. It is also my laundry day, which we all know takes a lot of time. So, for this particular Monday, I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I didn't suddenly start dusting the kids shutters or deep clean the carpets. I just did what I would always do on a Monday. And I spent 3 hours, 41 minutes cleaning that day.

On Wednesday, I again just did the things I would typically do (which included putting the laundry away), and I only spent 1 hour, 40 minutes cleaning.

So, the results may not have backed up the theory that I am ALWAYS cleaning up after somebody. There are still clearly many hours left in the day. Maybe I should have another baby....(HAHAHA).

More catching up

In January, the girls started a gymnastics class twice a week with a bunch of neighbor friends. They LOVED it. They got to do four events-the bars, the beam, a vault-like trampoline, and an inclined mat where they practiced rolls and stuff. I really want them to try lots of different activities so they can find out what they're good at and want to stick with in the future. I can see Kyla wanting to stick with gymnastics. She has good upper body strength and is fairly natural. 

The last class ended with a medal ceremony, which was quite thrilling. Allie, who was on her way to a poetry night for her class (hence the skirt over her leotard, an attempt to throw together one outfit that would serve both purposes), so we didn't have much time to get many pictures. Here are their best poses:

A moving shot on the bars. A little blurry.

Like I said, we went straight to Allie's poetry night at school. I only got video of Allie's poem, but took a picture of these cute boys in Allie's class. The little blonde one is Timmy, and Kyla thinks he is going to be her husband (he is the one she said, "When I saw him, I thought in my mind, 'I'm going to marry him.'"). Well, just after this picture, Timmy burst out in tears (embarrassed by the moment, not my snapping pics of him) and found comfort with his teacher. Kyla looked at me and whispered, "my husband is crying." Haha, it was funny.

Nearly every morning, when Jeff leaves for work, the kids go outside to wave good-bye. It started because Carter would cry every time he left, and we found that if we went out to wave, he didn't get upset. Now, as soon as Jeff walks out the garage door, Carter bolts for the front door, and we all follow. 

Sometimes, if Jeff isn't in a big rush, he will go around the circle and pass by again (this tradition was started by my parents, who always do a couple of laps on their way out of town, often throwing change out the window like some awesome parade). I grabbed the camera one morning for the big farewell. 

 And here's Jeff coming around again. Yay for fun traditions that develop on their own. 

Elder Esplin

On January 27, 2010, my brother Jonny went into the MTC, his first stop on his mission to Argentina. Here was the last time I saw him before he left. Notice my belly nestled right under his shoulder. That's baby Carter, who would be born two days later, just missing out on meeting his uncle Jonny!

Fast forward two years. I now have two babies my brother has never met (and neither of them are really a BABY anymore), and we find out he has a two hour layover in SLC on his way home to St. George. So, along with my aunt and three of her kids, we went up to meet him. 

It only took Carter about 2 minutes to get over his aversion to Jonny (I had drilled it into his head that "Jonny was nice" enough that he walked around saying "Jonny nice."), but was entirely too fascinated by the baggage claim to pay any attention to him. But, oh, it was so good to see Jonny! It was almost like he'd never been gone. It wasn't weird at all, but just so, so good.

When I was pregnant with McKay, we knew that if it was a boy, we would be giving him the middle name of John (it was STRONGLY suggested by Jeff's mom, as John was her father's name and all of Jeff's brothers have a son with the middle name John). I was okay with that. But I also wanted to name him after another Jon that I adore. My brother Jonathan. So I asked Jeff how he would feel if I spelled Jon without the "h." He said it was fine with him. And since I was the one filling out the papers for the birth certificate, that's what I did. So little McKay Jon got to meet his namesake for the first time. And he seemed quite pleased. I just wish this picture wasn't so blurry. It was with my phone. :(

Jonny worked at Jimmy John's before he left (Jimmy Jonny's, as we like to call it), so I thought it would be fun to bring him a sandwich. He loved it. Apparently I did too, by the looks of this face I am making.

 

It was hard to watch him leave to go to St. George, and I really wanted to be there with the rest of the family when he got there, but we only had to wait 10 days until we drove down for his homecoming. That was this past weekend. I wish I had taken some more pictures, and I don't have any of us all together, but here are a couple video clips if you are interested in taking a look. We had our kids learn a song and perform it for him after church. So precious!

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We also put on a Family Play (or Roast, as my mom called it). This is something we have done many times in the past. Most of these are inside jokes that probably won't be that funny to you (unless you know my mom), but I find the whole thing hysterical.  It's in two parts, and will give you a little glimpse into what we think is "fun."

http://youtu.be/sKfD1drmgSw

http://youtu.be/QZtr3tKEVLQ

I sure missed my baby brother while he was gone, but he has come back an even better person than he was when he left! I can't wait to get to know him all over again, and have my kids get to know him too!

Birds and bees

I realized that I never wrote about the "birds and bees" conversation I had with Damon back in December, and that is definitely something I don't want to forget.

For months, I had been telling Damon that I would be happy to answer any questions he had about things he heard at school, but he respectfully declined. He knew that sex=baby, but didn't want any other details. I told him I'd be happy to tell him the truth, but I could tell that it made him uncomfortable (and knowing how little I wanted to learn those things when I was his age, I didn't press the issue).

Fast forward to a Saturday in December. Jeff was out of town and we were watching a BYU basketball game. Somehow the kids and I got talking about Brandon Davies, and how I was glad he was back on the team after everything that happened last year. Damon said, "well, his girlfriend is the one who got pregnant, so it's her fault, not his." That's when I knew that it was time to initiate "the talk."

I asked Damon if he knew how babies were made. He told me that he did, and threw out some words like "egg" and "sperm," but didn't seem to know anything else (I had given him the VERY basic "part of dad and part of mom come together to make a baby that grows in mom" talk years ago, but figured out quickly that the things he had picked up weren't fitting into this general definition any longer). So, I dove in. I told him that men and women were designed so that their bodies fit together like a puzzle. And then, without getting graphic, I told him what happens when their bodies were connected.

He seemed to take it well, and had some thoughtful questions to ask ("how did people figure out how to do that?" being my favorite). We talked about how sex is not a bad thing, but something that is special and something to be saved for marriage. He agreed, and then wanted to know, "what is the difference between sex and sexy?" That led to another discussion about modesty. And then came the question I could have done without. "When do you and dad do that, when we're asleep?" (Blush)

When it was all over, I felt good about it. It wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be (and truthfully, it was easier than telling him about Santa Claus), and hopefully now Damon will know that he can ask me to tell him the truth. As well as Allie, who I know was listening in and taking everything in.

Birthday Boy

Carter may be my favorite little person in the world right now. It's hard to deny. He's been through a lot in his two short years of life, but has become this amazing little boy, so full of love. He turned two on Sunday and was so happy to celebrate with family. He was most excited about blowing out his candles, which he did four times.

He opened his presents, and was genuinely excited about everything. What an easy birthday for me!

Earlier in the week, Jeff was out of town and we had just gotten back from the girls' gymnastics class. I wasn't really in the mood to make dinner (as is usually the case when Jeff is gone), and thought about stopping at Carl's Junior and letting the kids play there for dinner. But I didn't. And I wish I would have. Because in my haste to make dinner for the starving mob, I opened a can of corn, but didn't take the top all the way off. Just pried it up so that I could make some quesadillas for the kids. McKay was crying in his high chair and I was trying to take care of him, too, and I didn't see Carter grab for the corn. It wasn't until I heard the crying, and saw the blood, that I realized what had happened.

I picked him up and grabbed a paper towel, trying to assess the damage. It was quickly apparent that it was more than just a little cut and was probably going to need stitches. Carter was not happy at all and couldn't hold still, so I snapped the whip and ordered the other kids around ("Take care of McKay!" "Don't let those quesadillas burn!") so that I could take care of Carter. I consulted with Jeff over the phone, and then my neighbor next door, but I knew that he needed to get it stitched up. So Jeff called the oral surgeon he works with a lot and he agreed to meet me at his office. I sent the kids next door and left.

He ended up needed six stitches to close it up. And the doctor thinks he probably cut an artery because there was so much blood. Even an hour and a half after it happened, it was still gushing.We tried some laughing gas to get him to relax, but that seemed to bring up unpleasant memories of breathing treatments in the hospital or something, and only made him madder. I held him down while the doctor stitched him up and finally got him to stop screaming by telling him stories. It looked nasty, but at least it was closed.

We kept it wrapped up during the day, with lots of neosporin and a splint, and then took the bandages off at night so that it could dry out. He has healed amazingly quickly and is about ready for those stitches to come out. He hardly complained at all after the stitches went in and I only had to give him ibuprofen twice for pain. He is a tough little guy!

There are so many reasons that I love this little boy. Here are just a few examples.

1. I was changing his diaper one day and he was squirming all over, kicking his legs. I told him he needed to hold still, and that he was hurting my tummy. He looked at me with those big eyes and said, "hurt tummy? Sorry mommy." He really is so polite. He always says "thank you" when I do something for him and is so quick to apologize.

2. Yesterday we stopped at Costco and I asked the kids to help me unload when we got home. Damon said he would, but he REALLY needed to go to the bathroom (and Damon usually is helpful, so I know he wasn't trying to get out of it), but the girls walked right in the house, ignoring me completely. I got Carter out of his car seat and he immediately headed for the passenger door, picked up a bag of frozen corn, and tried to carry it in the house. The only one who was willing to help me! He is very helpful and I find lots of things that he has "put away," or thrown away. 

3. He is talking so well and everything he says is SO cute! My favorite from last month was when we went in to get McKay in the morning (always the first thing he wants to do). We walked in and McKay was waiting for us. Carter got all excited and said, "I found it! Bubba's awake!" We have repeated that often and Carter will say it to get a laugh. He also likes to say, "Go Damon! Shoot the hoop," sing the ABC song, and tell me he's ready for lunch. Love it.

4. He is so gentle and affectionate. He loves to hug and kiss and is so sweet to McKay. It warms my heart. Unprompted, he will hug and kiss him and never wants to see him cry.

5. He loves, and gets excited about, all kinds of things. He got a little train set for his birthday and is always so excited to play with it (and take it to bed with him). He loves balls and his popper and Barbies and puzzles and books. He just started being able to do the puzzles and file folder games I have in the closet and it's amazing to see his little mind growing all the time. It's also hard to say no to him because he's so sweet. Dangerous combination.

He was so excited at the Pinewood Derby the other night. He loved watching the cars race down the track and would call out "Go!" if they weren't moving fast enough. As soon as a race finished, he screamed in delight and yelled, "Again!" 

I know we are so lucky to have this fuzzy headed little boy in our family. He makes all of our lives better. Happy birthday Carter Edward!

January Funnies

I decided I would be better about documenting the funny things that come out of the mouths of the kids. So I hung a blank sheet of paper on the wall and wrote down the things that made me laugh. Here's the list for January:

Kyla- "I want to change my name to Rosetta!"

Carter walked into the family room, holding a sharp knife and a package of pudding. He had used the knife to puncture the pudding wrapper and eat the contents. Kyla exclaimed when seeing him, "we didn't see THAT coming!"

Kyla-"Excuse me! I just burped in my mind."

One night, Jeff saw that Carter wasn't finishing his pizza and took it away, attempting to take a bite of it. Carter looked at him with a mean look, pointed to his plate, and said, "Pizza. Right there." Jeff promptly gave it back.

Kyla came in crying one day, "Allie said I'm a poo!"

Allie, in the middle of the night: "Mom! Kyla, wake up! Move over, I'm falling off the bed!" I'm not sure whether it was a bad dream or reality, but the situation resolved itself on its own.

Damon, who had been doing a biography report on Harry Houdini, on why we NEEDED to attend the circus that was coming to town: "We have to go to the circus because Harry inspired me!"

Kyla, during a prayer, said, "Please help me to find more money on the ground."

One day at the library, Allie asked me what we were having for dinner. I told her beef and broccoli over rice. She said in all seriousness, "I'd rather eat throw up."

One night we were watching the Australian Open tennis tournament and Carter was very excited about watching a show where balls were hit back and forth. I pushed pause (or so I thought) so we could say a family prayer. During the middle of the prayer, Carter yelled out, "Hooray!" We quickly finished the prayer, snickering, and I asked what was so exciting. Damon told us that Carter was cheering for the tennis match.

Kyla, to her very white friend at preschool, "Does your mom have brown skin?" To which her friend answered no. A minute later the friend asked, "Do I have brown skin?"

Finally, Kyla has been working on her reading, and likes to clarify words by using them in a sentence after sounding them out. Two of my favorites from January:
1. "C-o-w. Like the cow got shot."
and 2. "D-o-g. Like the dog got eated."

I realize that most of these quotes come from Kyla, which can be explained by the fact that she's four and says lots of funny things, and that she is around more than the other kids. At least the kids who can talk.

Mom

Lately, there have been a lot of articles circulating on Facebook about being a mother. Two in particular have been shared frequently and beautifully describe what it feels like to be a mother. There's nothing like it in the world. Nothing as maddening, nothing as wonderful, nothing as hard, nothing as rewarding. And while my life is crazy and sometimes I wonder how I'm going to do everything, I wouldn't want to do anything else.

I know I've written about this in the past, but I think it's worth mentioning again. One of the articles I read talks about enjoying the special moments (as opposed to enjoying EVERY moment), and I really feel like I try to do that. I don't always succeed, but I really do enjoy my kids. All five of them. And I wouldn't want to do anything else.

When I think about the last 9+ years I have spent as a mother, three distinct memories come to mind. They were experiences when I was instantly struck with how lucky I was to be a mom. None of them was anything big. Just a gentle nudge reminding me to be grateful for what I have.

The first was when Damon was about two. It was after I had lost Chance, and was trying to get pregnant again. I was trying to deal with the fact that I might never have another baby (dramatic conclusion I had reached, I know) and if that was the case, I needed to spend more time focused on the perfect little boy we had already been blessed with instead of feeling sorry for myself because of the boy we had lost. It was on such a day that I took Damon to the library (something we did at least weekly, sometimes more). I was holding his hand as we walked on the sidewalk toward the door. I looked over at the brick facade of the library and saw our reflection--mom and tiny son walking hand in hand--and I was suddenly emotional. It was like someone was trying to remind me just how lucky I was to be able to spend my days as Damon's mom. And I didn't want to do anything else.

A couple of years later, we had moved to Florida and we had added Allie and Kyla to the family, proving that my fears about having a healthy baby again were completely unfounded. It was a Sunday and we were on our way home from church. We parked in the driveway and walked around to the front door. I was in the back of the group, watching as Jeff and the three kids walked into the house. Again, I was slapped with the reality that I was really a mom, and that we were a real family, not just a couple with a baby. I couldn't help but smile. I was doing what I had always wanted to do. And there was nothing else I wanted to do.

Finally, I had the same moment of realization again when I was pregnant with McKay. We had taken the kids to Pizza Pie Cafe, and I was busy running around trying to get everyone the food they wanted from the buffet so that I could get some food for myself. I was standing in line at the buffet and I glanced back at Jeff and the kids sitting at the table. And when I realized they were all mine, I felt it again. That overwhelming gratitude that comes when you recognize just how much you have been blessed. And that no matter how many hours you spend taking care of everyone's needs but your own, you wouldn't want to do anything else.

10 months

McKay at 10 months (or 5/6ths). Wow, I can't believe he's almost one! When did he get so big (and other cliches you hear from every mom...)

McKay really has gotten to be so much fun. He thinks he is the biggest boy and wants to eat everything in sight. I found a sticker and a small marble in his diaper yesterday. It makes me wonder what else he has swallowed that I haven't found out. He has gotten a lot of hair recently and I don't know what kind of style we're shooting for. It's not as thin as Damon and Carter's hair, so I'm wondering if he can pull off a longer style. We'll see. I usually go with the small faux hawk to church because I'm not crazy about it when it's just sitting on his head like a bad toupee.

Some things of note: I don't know how much he weighs, as I don't plan to take him into the doctor's office until after he is one (no reason to expose him to more germs than necessary). He's a big boy, though, if not as chubby as his brothers were. He is now in 12-18 month clothes, even if the pants are a little long. 6-12 are just too small. 

He still takes two naps a day (one from about 9:30-11:00 and one from 1:00-3:00). He is almost always happy when I go to get him up and is quite content to stay in his crib and play (which I let him do if he wakes up before it's time to get Kyla from preschool). 

He drinks 4 8-oz bottles a day and usually eats two meals. He also snacks on anything he can find, and has yet to have a bad reaction to anything (thankfully)! He loves crawling up the stairs, although he hasn't yet figured out how to come back down (which has resulted in some terrifying moments--for him--as he has fallen down 2-3 stairs). He cruises around furniture and just started standing alone. He has gone maybe 5 seconds max, but is always trying to let go when he stands. He figured out his walker toy and will try that for a few seconds before he bails for his preferred method of crawling.

After a bad December (never ending diaper rash and colds which caused some other weird rash on his face), he is doing better in January. Except for the runny nose that scabbed over and bled every time someone wiped it. That was bad. He finally has healed from that, though, and is back to looking presentable in public. 

He is always babbling, and can repeat sounds (his favorite being "mama."). He can wave hello and good-bye and loves the attention he gets when he does so. He still has no teeth (although his bottom gums are starting to look a little swollen, so I think they  may be coming). He is in size 4 diapers (same as Carter), which is really nice. He also finally stopped leaking and blowing out the back, so maybe I had him size 3 for too long.

He loves to take baths and recently was introduced to the shower, which he doesn't mind. I tried to get a shot of the boys and their cute bums, but they are so busy that they were never standing still for long. This was the best I got.

Carter LOVES him. Truly, and he is always excited to see him when he gets up from his naps (and Carter will frequently tell me "Shh! Bubba's sleeping!").  One of my favorite sounds is to hear the boys laughing together when we are in the car and no other kids are around. It makes the 13.5 month age gap a little more appealing. Carter posed them for this picture. So sweet. 

And here's a cuter one of their sweet faces. 

I decided that I wanted to make McKay a rag quilt, as he is my last baby and I have never made anything for any of them (okay, I did make a crib skirt for Carter, so that's not entirely true. I never made anything for them that they could take and use). It was also my value project for Divine Nature (and definitely took more than 10 hours to complete!). 

 This was a good project for me to do. It was easy enough that I could manage without pulling my hair out (although difficult enough to teach me some good patience. And seam ripping skills). And it's a very forgiving project, hiding a lot of the imperfections that I ended up with. Really, I love it, and I wish I had made one for all my kids. Maybe it's not too late! If I find some flannel and batting on sale, maybe I'll make one for the other four! Here's a close up.

 Carter turns two next week and then we will start our season of birthdays! McKay is March 17, Allie is April 30, Kyla is May 24 and Damon is July 2. Should make for a fun few months around here!

2012 Resolutions

Last year I had a lot of lofty goals. Before I write about the goals I have for this year, let's see how I did last year, shall we?

PHYSICAL

1. My goal is to have a natural birth. 

**I tried my best. I got to the hospital fully dilated, pushed and pushed (and even endured the doctor's forceps in me for a short time), but McKay was not cooperative. SO, I had the epidural. 

2. Post baby, I want to participate in a sprint triathlon. 

**Um, nope. I didn't do that. 

3. Get back to pre-baby weight.

**Nearly there. Just a couple pounds to go, and need to tone up!

MENTAL

1. Read 50 books and write reviews on Goodreads

**I read 40 and wrote reviews on Goodreads

2. Finish my blog book and get scrapbooks caught up

**My blog book got finished, scrapbooks, not so much.

3. Write more. 

**I didn't do much writing at all.

SPIRITUAL

1. Keep up with the New Testament Sunday School lessons, and RS lessons

**I did okay at this, need to do better.

2. Do temple work for 50 people (endowments, initiatory, sealings) and write down all their names

**I didn't write down any of their names, so I have no idea how close I came to this goal. Bad.

3. Index 1,000 names for FamilySearch.

**I did do this. I got around 1200.

EMOTIONAL

1. Learn more techniques for dealing with anxiety and help my kids learn them too

**I read a book that helped me learn some things to teach Allie. I also learned how to get her out of her panicky stage, so that's a great thing.

2. Work hard not to be discouraged. 

**I think I did pretty well at this.

FAMILY

My goal is no more yelling. I will ask nicely, and if I'm ignored, I won't lose my temper.

**Ha! That only lasted for a couple days.

Jeff's goals are to be more patient and to help out more

**He definitely did a great job at this, especially with the helping part.

Damon's is to deal with frustration in ways other than crying

**Damon is doing much better with this.

Allie's is to concentrate and stay focused

**doing better, can still use a little more attention

and Kyla's is to leave Carter alone.

**accomplished this, only because McKay came along and she had someone else to bug. 

Okay, so we had our FHE a couple weeks ago about goal setting and we set some new goals. First, mine.

1. Read 50 books and write reviews on Goodreads (I needed to stick with this one again)

2. Read the Book of Mormon again (with the Sunday School outline)

3. Finish the YW Personal Progress, including projects, by myself

4. Get scrapbooks caught up and printed!!

That's all I have set in stone. The rest will come as I feel I can handle more. 

As far as family goals, Jeff's is to hike 5 high points with Damon and to change 200 diapers this year

Damon's goals are to learn to read music instead of playing by ear  and not to be so negative (or a better way to say that would be "to be more positive").

Allie's goal is to do a better job keeping her room clean. She has done horrible so far!

Kyla's goals are to learn to read and do a better job eating her dinner ("not her boogers," Allie added)

Carter's goal is to talk better. He is doing a great job every single day

McKay's is to learn to walk and to give up his bottle when he turns one.

As a family, we have a goal to finish the Book of Mormon together (should be fairly easy--we are at the end of Alma now) and to participate in the 5K on the 24th of July (the race Jeff spons0rs) together.  

Should be an interesting year!

Ringing in the New Year

This year, we had the good fortune of being chosen to host the Trapnell New Year's Eve party. Chris and Sheri, who have had the party at their house for the past six years, chose to host a 4th of July party at their house, and we were picked by Jeff's mom to be the hosts this year.

We knew there were going to be a lot of people (read:children), so we decided to plan a little something for them. We came up with 9 "Minute to Win it" games and set them up in our basement. The plan was to keep the kids occupied so that the adults could play Bunco in peace. And we went to a lot of work to get everything ready. 

We started a bit late (8:00 by the time everyone was here and ready to eat), but everything went smoothly. We moved all the furniture out of the family room and set up tables and chairs. 

After eating, the kids had a great time playing the games (I wish I had taken some pictures, it was pretty fun), and then Jeff had set up a screen and some chairs so they had a mini movie theater to watch Kung Fu Panda 2. All of that went very well.  But none of the adults wanted to play our silly game. All they wanted to do (and by "they" I mean a select few who are the leaders of the group) was sit around and tell the same stories we have heard at every family function for the past 10 years. 

I was bugged. I was also hormonal, truth be told, which didn't help anything. But I had gone to a lot of work to come up with activities to keep the kids occupied so that we adults could do something fun. And sitting around listening to stories I could tell myself was NOT my idea of a good time. 

Now with some distance, I'm glad everyone had fun. Even if I didn't. And I'm sure we'll have the party here next year and I'll lower my expectations.

Here are a few pics from the night.

Yeah, it does look like the kids had a good time. And I know they did. I just wish I had, too.

2011 Recap

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’ve never done before? Drove to St. George with my five kids. Without Jeff. It actually didn't go too badly.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? Not so great. I have a post just about this very topic to come.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I did and Heather did. 

4. Did anyone close to you die? no

5. What countries did you visit? none. Boo. We did go to Hawaii for a week, though. That was worth noting.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? More peace in our home.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched in your memory and why? March 17th, when McKay was born. He came out covered in green poop and we laughed because he was "dressed" for St. Patrick's Day!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making the transition to five kids. It was a rough few months.

9. What was your biggest failure? Nothing major, thankfully.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing of note. Carter did spend another 2 nights in the hospital in February for croup, but hopefully that will be the last one for a while!

11. What was the best thing you bought? The Sit and Stand stroller.

12. Where did most of your money go? loans, house payment and this year we added a practice payment! In six and a half years, the ortho loans will be paid off. That will be amazing.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about? March Madness with Jimmer and BYU. Wow, that was fun!

14. Happier or sadder? I would say happier. I really am content with my life.

15. Thinner or fatter? Thinner. Still trying to get back to my pre-pre-pregnancy weight, but coming along.

16. Richer or poorer? Richer. Still not "rich" by any sense of the word, but we are doing fine.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing

18. What do you wish you’d done less of? Stressing

19. How did you spend Christmas? With my family. Christmas Eve with the Trapnell's, Christmas morning with my husband and kids and the rest of Christmas break with the Esplin's. Perfect!

20. Did you fall in love in 2011? Yeah, with my two bubbas, Carter and McKay.

21. What was your favorite TV show? Our favorite new show is Person of Interest. I also love Once Upon a Time, but Jeff isn't sold on it. 

22. What was the best book you read? I read 40 books this year. My goal was 50. I need to pick it up a little!

The best book I read was the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson. The best YA books I read were Matched by Ally Condie and Moon Over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool. The best non-fiction book I read was Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua (for how thought provoking it was. Not because I agree with her methods).

23. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2011? Adele. 

24. What did you want and get?  A bike and a bike trailer for Christmas! Wow, that was a surprise!

25. What did you want and not get? Central vac and water softener. Again. But they should be soon, as we'll be finishing our basement this year.

26. What was your favorite film this year? The Help. It was so good. And Harry Potter 7.2. It was really a great way to say good-bye.

27. What did you do on your birthday? Dinner at Happy Sumo with my SIL's, Breaking Dawn preview with Jeff and his staff, Coldstone ice cream cake. Ahhhh.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? For those people that I love not to have to struggle so much. Same answer as last year.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Hand me downs from my SIL. 

30. What kept you sane? Facebook and blogging.

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Emily from the Bachelor (I really couldn't think of one, so that's better than no answer at all).

32. What political issue stirred you the most? Romney being attacked for being a Mormon, and therefore, not a Christian. The political battles are just beginning!

33. Who did you miss? My brother, Jonny. Less than one month left!

34. Who was the best new person you met? McKay

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. It is so important to have hope. People you love will disappoint you, and make choices that you know are going to deeply affect their life. But you can't ever, ever give up hope. It's never too late to do the right thing. 

36. What songs will always remind you of 2010? Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," "Someone Like You;"  Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" (song of the year IMO), "You and I;" "Good Life" by One Republic, "Tonight Tonight" by Hot Chelle Ray, "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO, "Firework" by Katy Perry, "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj,  "Grenade" by Bruno Mars, "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry, "Price Tag" by Jessie J and "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz.

37. When you think about 2011 what sticks out in your mind? Going crazy with all these kids! 

38. Best moment of 2011? When McKay was born, safe, without a C-section, and we saw that he was a boy. A perfect way to complete our family.

More Christmas Pics

Actually, this one was taken on Thanksgiving Day. We had Thanksgiving with the Trapnell's, which meant there wasn't a whole lot for me to do (rainbow jello was ready because I had done most of it the day before). So we got everyone dressed up and posed in front of our fireplace. Turned out pretty cute. 

Christmas Eve I tried to get the kids to pose by the tree. McKay was really not in the mood, but this one turned out alright.

We also tried to do a family shot with the camera on timer. We were all ready to go, except for Carter. He was, inexplicably, dancing around in circles with his hands above his head. And try as we might to get him to come over to us, he wasn't ready. This pic snapped just as he was completing a spin. I love it.

He did cooperate for this one, though.

Christmas Eve we spent with the Trapnell's, too. We never take pictures when we are together. I don't know why. Laurie is the only one who ever has a camera so I decided to take Jeff's and snapped a bunch. These are just a few.

Grandpa Fred took all the kids upstairs to play with his trains. The kids love that. I like this picture of Damon and his grandpa as they adjust the engine.

Christmas Day we headed to St. George, where all the lovely ladies were waiting for me with matching pjs. It caused a bit of confusion with the kids, as they couldn't easily tell which one was their mommy from behind. They were often surprised when the mommy they were clinging to turned out to be someone else.

My mom wanted to get a pic of all the grandkids before we left. Some were sick and some were just plain messy, but we did manage to get them all together. We can try again next month when we are together for Jonny's homecoming (yay!).

Top: McKay, Kyla, Allie, Carter, Malakai, Jayda, Maddux and Damon

Bottom: Kenya, Annie, Ella and Kalia

My mom also wanted several pics of the cousins in the tub. I think she plans to hang them in her bathroom. The only time I thought about taking pics was this day when Kenya, Kyla and Annie were bathing together. I tried to get a modest pic of them (appropriate for the wall), and this was the best we could do. I thought it was fun that it was one girl from each family bathing together. Representing the Alofipo's, Trapnell's and Bigler's.

Service

Before Christmas, I was trying to figure out what kind of service project I wanted to do with my kids, to help them get into the spirit of giving. I was listening to General Conference every day after dropping Kyla off at preschool (SUCH a good idea. I got so much out of it) and was listening to President Monson talk about the Provo Tabernacle Temple. He then started talking about a Temple Patron Fund that members could donate money to, which would go toward helping those who want to go to the temple but don't have the funds to do so(I didn't hear that the first time around. I blame the children). I felt the spirit very strongly telling me that this is what we needed to do.

So I began to brainstorm and talked to the kids about it. I wanted them to come up with some ways that they could contribute (more so than just doing jobs for me). We came up with a couple of projects that they could do. 

They spent one afternoon making ornaments for the Christmas tree (using pipe cleaners and tribeads). They made icicles, wreaths and candy canes.

Then we found some cheap flowers and alligator clips and made some barrettes.

One afternoon, Damon, Allie, Kyla and Carter went door to door in our neighborhood, selling their crafts. Damon practiced his speech about how we were trying to earn money for the temple fund and offered to sell the items for 50 cents each. They came home about an hour later with $10 (bless our nice neighbors!). They were pretty pleased with themselves.

I emailed my brother in Argentina and asked how much it would cost for a family to take a trip to the temple (the nearest one to him is in Santiago, Chile) and he told me around $65. So we set that as our family goal.

We also decided to clean out our basement, as we think we may be able to start the process of finishing it soon. I was SOOOOOOO tired of cleaning up all the play food, and the girls are really growing out of that stage, so I convinced them to take it to Kid to Kid and see how much they would give us for the kitchen, the play food, and some other items (exersaucer, stroller, baby gate). We were offered $70. I'm sure I could have gotten more if I had sold each item individually on KSL.com, but we were in a bit of a time crunch with Christmas coming. The kids were happy and so were we. Now we had $80 to give to the bishop on Sunday. What a fun thing to do. I hope it made an impression on them, because it sure made my heart swell when I looked out the window and saw the four of them, bundled up in their coats (back when it was cold), trying to sell their homemade crafts. Probably one of my favorite moments from this Christmas season for me.