History of Love: Part III, or THE FINALE!

NOTE: Any mocking of me in these pictures will not be tolerated. No mention of my eyebrows or my chubby cheeks, either. I can hardly believe I am posting these. Feel free to mock any of the boys, though. These are not necessarily the best pics I have, but they were the first ones I could find. At least you'll get a taste.

So, where were we? Ah, yes. The Mark/Russ saga. Here I am at Junior Prom with Russ. You can see how tall he is. Also, Jake is just below me and Mark is sitting on the farthest right. Yes, I got to have conflicted feelings all night that night.

And you have to throw Jake back in there, because that boy had some kind of spell over me. Even though I was "with" Mark, and we had some real good times together, I just couldn't get over Jake. A guy from high school actually wrote in my yearbook, "I am interested to see if you end up with Mark or Jake." I guess I didn't hide it too well. The summer after 11th, I decided to give up boys altogether. I was tired of it all. But it didn't take long for me to rethink that decision.

Here's Mark and me at Preference, the night we first kissed. Could I have invested in a nice self tanner? Sure. But that wouldn't leave us much to laugh about now, would it?

The beginning of my senior year, an old crush resurfaced. Tyler Campbell, the boy who couldn't come with me to The Sandlot date, was in my Sports Psychology class and he was dang good-looking. Tall (6'2"), dark, and athletic (catcher on the baseball team), he hadn't given me the time of day when we were juniors, so I wasn't too hopeful, but he made my heart race, and I liked it. I went to Homecoming with Mark, but it was pretty much over. My friends and I suddenly became fans of Campbell's soup (Tyler's nickname was "Soup"), and brought it up frequently in our conversations. It seemed to be very one-sided at first, but eventually, he started flirting with me. He later told one of my friends, "I was sitting there in class one day and she smiled at me. That's all it took." Man, if I had known that, I would've smiled at him more when we were juniors...Anyway, we started dating, and were together until he left on his mission the next September. Tyler was the BEST high school boyfriend. Here's why:

• Girls told me all the time how jealous they were that I was dating him. In high school, you know that validation means so much.
• He was an awesome baseball player. I loved going to watch him, and was so happy that he was winking at me between innings.
• He would do anything for me. I know that was true. One Friday, I was stuck at school after a softball game. Heather must have taken the car home, not knowing I didn't have a ride. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get home, when Tyler showed up (he lived close to the school). He said he had been trying to find me and my mom told him I might need a ride home. He drove me home (about 20 minutes away), asking me what my plans were for later that night. I told him I had made plans with some of my girlfriends, feeling a little guilty. He wasn't upset; he wasn't disappointed. He just told me to have fun. What a great guy.
• He was proud to be with me. He made a t-shirt with my number on it and wore it to basketball games (where we didn't have that many fans). He always told me how great I was, even when I wasn't. He was so supportive. He also surprised me by showing up in Heber at an all-star game I was playing in. It was several hours out of his way.
• He was respectful of me. Even though I heard he cussed a lot on the baseball field, I never heard him swear. That meant a lot to me. He also waited about five months before he kissed me, because he knew it scared me (that makes me laugh to think about now--I was so anti-NCMO in favor of an actual relationship that I freaked myself out. I can't believe he put up with me).

He was just the best. Senior year was the best. Here we are at Preference,

Senior Ball (the night he first kissed me),

and Graduation.

The summer after senior year was the best. Then real life started. Tyler got his mission call to Argentina and I left for BYU. He told me that he loved me and hoped I would still be around when he got home (he didn't ask me to wait for him, let that be known!). I was crushed when he left. And lonely. And preemies (Pre-Missionaries) at BYU were safe...

I met Randy Hunter about a month after Tyler left. He was in my freshman ward, living in Helaman Halls. He was so much fun, and took my mind off of being so sad all the time. It was nice not to be alone (I was never one to just play the field, can you tell? I needed to be in a relationship!). We dated from about November to April, with our ups and downs. He knew I had a missionary, I knew he was getting ready to go on a mission, so really there was no reason for any kind of commitment. He told me that he loved me, which left me feeling entirely conflicted, as I couldn't say it back. We broke up in April, and I realized that I was a lot more emotionally invested in him than I would have guessed. He offered to fly me to Oregon (Brookings, his hometown) for his mission farewell, and I decided to go. Here's Randy and me on the Heber Creeper. This was the first time...okay, not the first time he kissed me. That was a couple weeks later.

In the meantime, Jake was getting ready to leave on his mission. He and I had managed to become really good friends during the years, and got really close right before he left. I even went with him and his family the night he got set apart (WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT??). He was sort of dating one of my friends from BYU, but it's obvious now, in hindsight, that he and I had something undefinable going on and I could never quite get him out of my heart. Of all the guys I dated in high school, he was the one I thought I would be most likely to marry. Timing is everything, and we certainly didn't have that. My biggest regret from high school is that I never kissed him. I think it would've been awesome.

Here's a major flashback that should've been in the last post. This is Jake and me at Preference when we were sophomores. Jaesi, I left Paul in the pic just for you!

Okay, back to Randy. I flew to Oregon with no expectations for what was to come, but what else was going to happen? Of course we got back together, I sent him on his mission, then headed back to BYU writing to Tyler, Jake and Randy. What a time that was.

Two months after Randy left, I met and dated my first RM. He was in my ward at BYU. I myself was planning on going on a mission, so I guess that made RM's safe. Jeff was an amazing person, and everything I was looking for in a man. He was smart, like Mark, athletic, like Tyler, musical, like Jake, and fun, like Randy. I just wasn't ready to meet him then. I thought I should just stay single for a while, and not get my heart involved in something else.

Here we are on the couch at my apartment, in our "usual spots." This was long before I knew he was the one, but you can tell it's there (for me, anyway). Notice he let me hold the remote? He still does that.

I failed miserably. I started falling for him. It was hard not to. He was everything I'd ever wanted. Last year, for Valentine's Day, I wrote about our story, so I'm not going to go through it all again here. It took a lot of doing, but I finally realized that I couldn't live without him. I decided that all of my missionaries, and a mission myself, were not much to sacrifice when I had Jeff on the other side. Choosing him was the best decision I ever made. And I honestly believe that all the boys I loved throughout my life helped me to see that. From Kylen to Clint and Brent to Tyler, I began piecing together a picture of what my eternal companion would be like. And so, when Jeff came along, I was able to recognize that he was the one I had been looking for.

I'm sure there will be future posts dedicated to my sweetie (I will dig out wedding pictures someday), but for this Valentine's Day I want to thank all the boys I ever loved (or crushed on), who helped make me the person Jeff fell in love with. I owe you one. Love you Jeff! Seven (plus) years later and never been happier. Happy Valentine's Day all!

History of Love: Part II

Okay, now it gets juicy. Actually, strike that. With me, it never got JUICY, but it did get better.



Ninth grade is one I would like to forget (crush-wise). I started liking this boy named Clint Barney after he asked me to dance at a stake dance one time. He smelled good. I think it was Eternity. That did it for me. I think I liked him all year. I had a friend who was always trying to hook us up. She convinced me to write him a note that she would deliver to him. I am pretty sure it was about the NCAA March Madness tournament. I also am pretty sure she added some things to the note before she gave it to him. He started avoiding me after that. And one day in Geometry, I found a note on my desk from Clint's "anonymous friend." Basically, it said "Clint doesn't like you. Leave him alone." I didn't tell anyone about it; I was humiliated. I mean, I wasn't some crazy stalker girl. I was a nice, quiet girl who happened to have some very vocal friends. I still to this day wonder what Melody wrote in that note...



Let's leave that painful memory behind us. Tenth grade brought with it my all-time #1 crush, my "comebacker." Over the next four years, and in between many other guys, I always seemed to come back to this one. His name was Jake Stevenson, and I still smile when I think about him. He had dark skin, dark hair and the best smile you've ever seen. We were friends in ninth grade, but my bff Melissa had a thing for him, so I refrained. But by the time we were sophomores, she had moved on. And that left the door open for me. One of the best things about Jake was his voice. The boy could sing. He also played football and baseball and was just about the best thing ever. Needless to say, girls loved him. And he loved girls. He knew the power he had over girls and flaunted it to his advantage. The years have made the details a little fuzzy, but we started hanging out. I asked him to Preference at the end of the year (he turned 16 just a few weeks before--I was his first date). We danced close. He held my hand (my first real hand hold, not counting the one at EFY). I was smitten. I wanted him to kiss me good night, but I was scared, so I took him home before the other couple in my car. After that, things got weird. He sort of acted like that date never happened, and that we were just friends. For the next year, I went back and forth between hating him and falling for him again and again. Like I said, he was my comebacker.

Junior year, as I tried not to think about Jake, I dated two very different guys. First was Russ Broadhead. He was the tallest guy I dated, at 6'4". He tricked me into liking him. I told him I had a crush on someone, he told me he liked someone else, and so I thought it was safe to hang out with him. I asked him to be my date to movie night in the park, as the guy I asked first (Tyler Campbell) couldn't come. There is a park behind my parents house, and a bunch of my friends from the volleyball team decided it would be a good idea to run an extension cord from the house down to the park, set up a tv, and have a movie night. We chose The Sandlot, although I can't remember why. We all invited dates, took blankets and snacks, and watched the movie. Russ kept me warm (don't read too much into that). I realized by the end of the night that he liked me. That was a surprise. I had never thought of him like that. But there's something very appealing about a boy who likes you. I fell for it. He took me on a date. Finally got the courage to hold my hand. It was fun. And then another boy asked me to a dance, and so Russ thought it would be okay to ask my sister. And that bothered me. He didn't really even know her. Why did he have to go there?

The guy I went to the dance with was Mark Madsen. He was super smart, probably the smartest person I have ever met. He was also very skinny. I bet I weighed more than he did. He wasn't really all that handsome, either. I don't know what it was about him that attracted me to him, but it may have had something to do with the fact that he liked me, too. It's so nice to be liked. After the dance, I had sort of a love triangle with Mark and Russ. I had feelings for both of them (which was great, because it left me very little time to think about Jake), and spent many hours trying to decide what to do. I eventually chose Mark. I think it was his intelligence that won me over. That, and the fact that I didn't get a pain in my neck when I danced with him. I asked him to Preference, the last dance of the year, and he kissed me. It was my first kiss. I was 17.

This is becoming a marathon, so I'll end for now. I'm going to go see if I can dig up any pictures. Now that would be fun...

History of Love: Part I

This post has kind of been kicking around in my head for a while. A couple months ago, some friends and I were talking about how sometimes our husbands don't like talking about past boyfriends, relationships, etc. Jeff doesn't get annoyed whenever I bring up a past boyfriend (which really isn't all that often), but it's not like it's his favorite subject either. But I think it's fun to OCCASIONALLY remember different stages of my life, because somehow, they all prepared me to be able to recognize that Jeff was my perfect match. So, what better time to pay homage to those boys who helped me find true love than Valentine's Day (and the week leading up to it).

I have always been a one-man woman. I would choose a boy to like and would be loyal and faithful to him for a long time (part of my blue nature). I also was very shy. I'm sure at least half of the boys I liked never even knew it (unless my sister or my friends told them). So, although it's probably not much of a history, it IS me.

Let's start way back....kindergarten. I started early with my crushes. The first boy I ever remember liking was Kylen Hansen. We were in kindergarten together, and his dark hair and high waisted jeans made my heart race. After my mom got to know his mom, she let me go home with him one day after school. I think she thought "Kylen and Krystal" sounded good together. I carried my "after school clothes" in a bag so I could change once I was there. I don't remember what we did, but I bet I even got to go in his room, and maybe we even were allowed to shut the door. A couple months later, Kylen choked on a butterscotch at my birthday party and my mom had to do the heimlich on him. And then there was the end of the year program when our teacher paired us together to do the Mexican Hat Dance. As far as kindergarten romances go, this was a good one. Topped off with us swinging arm in arm around a sombraro. I don't know what happened after kindergarten, but I'm guessing we drifted apart. We managed to stay friends, though. In fact, Kylen took me to Homecoming when we were juniors. My mom was the happiest lady on the block. Maybe it was the fact that she saved his life, but she always had a special place in her heart for him.

My next noteworthy crush came in third grade (and then again in fifth grade). His name was Brent Guerisoli. Boy, he was cute. His dad worked for the recreation department and Brent's wardrobe consisted mostly of St. George marathon t-shirts. I was very jealous. Brent was also super smart. He gave me a wallet sized picture of himself one day after he came home from lunch. It was the best day. Lisha was jealous (you may have a different take on the story, Lisha!). Her mom told me that Lisha started going to choir at church just so she could stand by Brent. How could I compete with that? Fourth grade is sort of a lost year, but we were back together in fifth grade. And we happened to be in the most competitive classroom imaginable. Everything was a competition, and my little heart loved every moment of it. Every Friday we would have "championships," which was nothing more than pitting students against each other to see who could correctly answer questions on flashcards the fastest. I was hard to beat: addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, states and capitals...I was good at it all, and every time I lost, I took it hard. Brent did, too, and I can't forget the time he cried after I beat him (although I'm sure I cried every time I lost). Looking back on it, that's probably why he never seemed to return my affection--who could like someone who was constantly trying to bash them into the ground? But I couldn't help it. I loved the smart boy. And I loved beating him.



Sixth grade was not my finest year. Physically, that is. I had braces and big bangs. It's amazing boys liked me at all, especially since I still wanted to beat them at anything and everything. But I managed to fall for two different boys that year. Blake Niederhauser (did I search out the best last names or what?) was cute. He rode on my bus, and seemed a little dangerous because he had a tail. His hair was short everywhere else, but a little rats tail grew out the back. It was black, like the rest of his hair, until he dyed it blonde. Ooh, I really did like a bad boy (if any of you know Blake, you probably wonder how I ever could've imagined him to be a bad boy. It was the tail). He also played the trombone. That's pretty much all I knew about him at the time, but that was enough. My journal is filled with entries about him and how cute he was. Very mature. But unfortunately, we didn't have any classes together. And so it was only inevitable that my heart would wander (especially since I'm pretty sure Blake didn't know I was alive). It was during our class read-a-thon that a boy named Jay Winward caught my eye. He sat near me (and even rested against my legs!) all afternoon, and that clinched it for me. Blake and his blonde tail were a distant memory, as my affection shifted to Jay. I remember him blushing one day when he told me I looked nice in glasses, and I was sure my feelings were returned. But that was as far as it went--accidentally touching each other and blushing.

By the time I started seventh grade, I had forgotten all about him. There was the cutest boy in my shop class named Nick Larsen. He was smaller than me, but in seventh grade, most boys are smaller than the girls, so no one seems to mind. Nick had blonde hair and there was something about the way he looked in those shop glasses...he was also the first boy I ever knew about that liked me back. I knew it because one day after shop he asked, "will you go with me?" My heart was beating fast, and I wanted to jump up and down screaming "yes!," but instead I answered, "My mom won't let me." Nick was blushing even more than Jay had been, and seemed to take the disappointment fairly well. Except that he didn't talk to me anymore after that. Oh well, easy come, easy go.

Eighth grade was all about Sam Banks. He was my debate partner in Mrs. Lewis' class and I thought he was adorable. Even though when he talked he always sounded like he needed to blow his nose. He was really quiet, and I had high hopes that the hours we spent together practicing for our debate would bring us together. At night I would listen to Debbie Gibson's "Lost in Your Eyes" and imagine the moment when he realized his feelings for me. That moment never came. While I suppose you could say that we were friends once our big debate was over, nothing more ever came of it. And I am quite sure Sam would've been surprised to find out that I liked him.

Okay...stay tuned for part two...

Love

Here's a little quip from Allie.

"Rule #1: You love me. Rule #2: I....love....lipgloss."

She also loves blowdryers.

Mrs. Nephi

Because I am using my blog as a journal, I thought I should include some of the thoughts that I have as our family is reading the Book of Mormon together. That is a warning to all of you reading--this is going to be a post about the Book of Mormon, so feel free to stop reading now. I won't be offended.

My kids have been really good about reminding us to read the scriptures before they go to bed. We have even read on Fridays and Saturdays, which never happened before. Damon stumbles his way through a verse or two (he is actually doing quite well, and only needs a little help), and Allie tries to participate, too. Damon was reading a verse the other night and said, "And it came to pass that the Lord said..." He paused while he tried to decipher the next word. Allie, who knew what the chapter was about, leaned over and whispered to Damon, "to build a ship." I chuckled a little at that.

My insight comes from 1 Nephi 16 and 17. After Ishmael died, Laman and Lemuel (as well as some of the others) began to complain again about their afflictions in the wilderness. They mention specifically the fact that their wives have had to bear children in the wilderness, and go as far as to say that it would have been better if they had died at Jerusalem than to suffer all that they had (17:20). I get the feeling that their wives were probably big complainers, too, and heaven knows there is a lot to complain about during pregnancy.

The interesting thing is Nephi's take on the same situation. Instead of focusing on the negative, and how hard it must have been for the women, he focuses on the blessings of the Lord. In 17:2, he tells how the Lord blessed the women to provide nourishment for their babies and to be strong like the men, even though they were living on raw meat. He also says that they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings. There are two interesting things to learn from this: 1. Nephi's wife was an amazing woman. She had to have been. Nephi says in 16:8, just after talking about marrying one of Ishmael's daughters, that he "had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly." He got a good one; one that didn't murmur and complain while she was trudging through the wilderness pregnant and miserablem, but was strong like her husband. I love this woman that we know very little about.
2. Nephi (and probably his wonderful wife) were able to see the Lord's blessings even in their trials, while Laman and Lemuel (and probably their wives, too), were only able to see their suffering. I was really struck by this, and wondered how often I get caught up in how hard things are or how much I am asked to suffer. I want to be more like Nephi (and his unnamed wife) and to see the blessings the Lord is always pouring out on us, even when things seem so hard.

Okay, that's all for now.

It Felt Like Springtime on this February Morning

Today is one of those days when you look outside and are reminded why you live in Florida. I know many of you are stuck in a neverending winter, but today in Jacksonville, it is gorgeous. I feel like belting "As I Lay me Down" as loud as I can, like I used to do in college on those rare beautiful February days in Provo. I thought I should make note of it before summer comes and I'm cursing JU's ortho school that brought us here.

I made a list of things I wanted to write about, is that dumb? Too bad. It's what you're getting today. Mostly it's just things I wanted to have recorded somewhere for later.

1. I don't think I have ever mentioned my new calling at church. I have the very best calling imaginable. I play the piano for the primary. It is so much fun! I get to go to most of Sunday School, slip out to play for the primary, and catch the end of Relief Society. There is no preparation involved and I don't ever have to worry about how well I'm doing, because it's just for the primary kids and they don't mind if I stumble my way through a song or two. I love it because I get to check on Damon and make sure he is behaving himself. I love hearing the kids learn new songs (right now we are learning I Am a Child of God in Spanish and they love it!), and then I love getting to leave and not having to babysit anyone. It's so great.

2. Allie is no longer going to be saying prayers at our house. Every time her turn comes around, it is a struggle to get anything more out of her than "thankful for this day, bless the food...," and actually that sounds more like, "thankfulday blessfood," and Jeff and I are past the point of patience with her. We have had many lessons about how to pray, including making a list of everything we are thankful for; we discuss possible prayer topics seconds before she begins. Nothing has helped. She ALWAYS says, "what else?" before she has even come up with one idea of her own. Damon is finally to the point where he can pray by himself, although it has taken 5+ years to get to that point. He was just as pathetic as she is. So, we have decided that Allie is going to take a break from praying until she decides she wants to. It will save us all a great deal of annoyance.

3. Camping in Florida isn't really considered camping. Campsites not only have a firepit and running water, they also have electrial outlets. We have had friends who have brought along a spaceheater for their tent, so they wouldn't get too cold. We spent Friday night camping at just such a location. It was a lot of fun (we went with a couple other families this time), and I know the kids loved it, but it's still relatively hard to camp with a baby. Kyla didn't want to sleep in her own bed (it was pretty cold, and she won't keep blankets or a hat on), and I was afraid I was going to smother her in my sleeping bag, so it wasn't the best night's sleep I've ever had. And despite the chilly temperatures, a fire and bug spray, I still got bit a few times by mosquitoes, my mortal enemies.

4. I'm so glad the Patriots lost last night. How can I be such a big Red Sox fan and such a Patriot hater? Obviously I'm not from Boston. I could go on and on about the game and how glad I am that New England didn't end up perfect, but I won't. Yay for Eli Manning and the rest of the Giants. Jordin Sparks was awesome, too.

Best Super Bowl Commercial- I liked a lot of them, but this one was our favorite. It was funnier when we rewound it and watched it again.

Regular Songs

I've often heard women describe their daughters as "thirteen going on twenty" or something to that effect. I don't know if I've ever heard the phrase "two going on twelve," but that definitely would apply to Allie. She knows what she wants and is not easily persuaded otherwise. We have been battling lately over her choice of clothes and her lack of interest in having her hair done. I'm usually very easy to please, because I don't particularly care what she wears or if she doesn't want to comb her hair. But when she has already chosen an outfit to wear, and suddenly decides she'd rather wear something else, that's where I draw the line. Earlier this week she was wearing a button up shirt and decided she didn't like it, but because she needed help with the buttons, she couldn't take it off herself. When I wouldn't help her, she cried for at least 15 minutes, insisting that she didn't like it and she wanted something else.

She has cried about her hair not looking nice, her chapstick not tasting good, not being able to find the right shoes...and I have begun to believe she doesn't want to be a kid anymore. That thought was confirmed the other night when I was tucking her in for a nap and she said, "I don't want to listen to children's songs. I want regular songs." She prefers Alicia Keys to Janice Kapp Perry and Fergie to Raffi. We're in for it with this one, I tell you.

What else? I am on an anti-Wal-Mart kick right now. I dislike so many things about shopping there--it's always crowded, you wait forever to check out, many of the employees there don't speak much English and therefore aren't particularly helpful (is that just here in Florida? I'm betting not, because we all know that Wal-Mart doesn't pay enough to make it worthwhile to work there). Every time I go, I ask myself, "why am I here? I don't like coming."

For the past couple of weeks I have been grocery shopping at actual grocery stores and getting everything else I need from Target. I love Target. I don't know about how they treat their employees, but the atmosphere is wonderful. It's never crowded, there are cute things everywhere I look, and the clearance sales are amazing. But, I will admit, it is pricier than its competitor. Today I only went in for a few things and $84 later left wondering what in the world I had bought (I have decided to return a couple things, making my trip more of a $60 trip and much less shocking). But I think it's worth it for my mental health and sanity. Kyla and Allie were much better behaved at Target. I think the relaxing atmosphere has rubbed off on them. And so I may never visit Wal-Mart again. At least until I sit down and figure out how much cheaper it is for me to shop there. Then, sadly, I may return. But I'm going to try to shop the ads, use coupons, and only buy things that I really need. Maybe I can do it. Who's with me?

We are going to make cookies for Damon's bus driver today. He is doing better on the bus, and doesn't come home crying anymore. He sits in the front seat (#1 he tells me) and I can tell that the bus driver, Ms Deborah, has kind been watching out for him. I appreciate that. My mom is the queen of Saying Thanks With a Treat, if there is such a place. If anyone ever does anything nice for her, the first words out of her mouth are "What kind of pie do you like?" She has delivered more than her share of pies to people who have helped her out, and even managed to get my sister a couple hundred dollars more for her pig by throwing in a pie or two (my bros and sisters raise pigs every year to sell at the 4H Livestock Show. It's awesome).

Once when I was in high school, a family let me tag along with them to SLC for the State Choir Festival so I wouldn't have to miss a softball game. I baked some cupcakes and took them over to them to say thank you. My mom was mortified. She had something much more grandiose in mind, and my cupcakes just didn't compare. I didn't care then, but in hindsight, I probably should've let her make them one of her famous Banana Cream Raspberry pies. It probably would've been much better received.

When Heather had some problems with boys in elementary, my mom's solution was to make them cookies (do tell the story, Heather!!!). And we did. I'm pretty sure the teasing stopped after that.

So, I guess in honor of my mom, we will be making peanut butter cookies for Ms Deborah tonight. I don't think it will change anything for Damon on the bus (he will probably still come home singing "We Will Rock You" or some other song that he has learned from the rowdy boys, and complain about it being too loud), but it couldn't hurt.

Oh, and did anyone hear Paul Harvey announce that Thomas Monson was the next president of the Church? I thought it was kind of interesting--after talking about how long Pres. Monson has served in the church, he said "he is a man who loves parables." What an interesting thing to say about someone. But it's true. He does love parables. And poems (pronounced "poims"). And does anyone else think Mitt Romney has a general authority voice?

Books

So, following the lead of my cyber friend, Reba, I have started a blog just dedicated to book reviews. If you're interested, the link is www.kbookreview.blogspot.com. I want to keep track of all the books I read this year, and will be doing a SHORT review of each of them there.

Home

Wouldn't it have been amazing to witness the reception President Hinckley must have received in heaven last night? After leaving this life, I think most people would be a bit trepidatious about what was to come, hoping that the life they lived was good enough to warrant a trumpet-wielding angel or to, and perhaps a face-to-face reunion with a loved one. With President Hinckley there was no doubt; I imagine he passed multiple angelic orchestras and choirs as he walked down the streets of heaven toward his wife, who was, no doubt, waiting eagerly for his arrival. I'm sure that reunion was even better than any of us can comprehend, but will hopefully enjoy ourselves one day.

At some point, he must have been welcomed home by the Savior himself, and picturing that gives me goosebumps. If angels can cry, I'm sure there were many tears of happiness shed, as the Lord's faithful servant finished his mission and returned to his heavenly home.

I will miss him greatly. I don't remember laughing much in General Conference before he was the prophet, and I will miss his wit and humor probably more than anything else. He led our church for such a long time (half my life), and it won't be the same without him. I am incredibly grateful for all that he taught us, and I hope to have the honor of thanking him in person someday. I can just imagine how the twinkle in his blue eyes looks under the immeasurably bright lights of heaven. It probably looks perfect.

Dinner Thoughts

The worst time of day has to be between 4-6 pm. Dinner prep time. If I were smart, I would cook earlier in the day, so those two hours before daddy gets home would be less chaotic, less stressful, and not spent in the kitchen. But I must not be smart enough, because I never do that. I am always getting dinner ready during the least opportune time. I'm sure you are well aware of all that interferes with the creation of a meal--whining, crying, full-on tantrums, sneaking of food, complaining of hunger, general destruction of rooms previously cleaned...



Occasionally, our neighbor comes over to play with the kids and I am free to cook in silence. It's wonderful. Today was just such a day. The nice weather coupled with the presence of our neighbor meant Damon and Allie were free to roam outside while Kyla and I took care of dinner. It was blissful. Here are some of my thoughts from dinner prep tonight (WARNING-very random):

1. I need to drink more water so my body will produce more milk.
2. Some chickens, like people, have very big breasts. Others have very small breasts.
3. I wonder if roosters are more attracted to big breasted chickens?
4. Why does salt make water boil faster?
5. (while washing my hands) Why don't they make some kind of anti-bacterial rub for raw chickens that would eliminate the salmonella danger?
6. I always hated when my mom would "dirty up" the sour cream by using a dirty spatula to scoop it out. Why do I do it too?
7. Did I sweep today, or did Kyla eat those cheerios I saw earlier on the floor?
8. Whoa, that's a lot of sour cream. Too much? Probably not.
9. I wonder if Allie has shoes on. Chances are she doesn't. I wonder if the neighbor thinks I'm a bad mom. Chances are she does.
10. Who's that coming in the door? Jeff is home early!
11. (realizing how much water I've had to drink) Man, I gotta pee.

We had a nice dinner (rice-a-roni chicken casserole) together. Damon announced that he doesn't want to get a job when he grows up. He wants his wife to work so he can stay home with his kids (his exact words were, "so I can hold the babies and kiss them"). And when his kids are old enough, he will let them do all the work while he watches them. And watches tv. I love his ambition. I love family dinner. Now if I could just get MY kids to clean up the mess so I can watch some tv...

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

We had a good MLK holiday, although the weather left a little to be desired. Instead of camping or hiking, we ended up bundling up in puffy coats (Allie) and going miniature golfing with some friends. We ended the evening with a stop at Koja for some yummy sushi. Damon ate six pieces himself; we're going to have to up our order next time to keep up with him!

Ever since Kyla started crawling, I have begun to see time speed up. You know that happens from time to time, like your kids are rolling along steadily, then suddenly edge over onto a hill and pick up momentum. They start rolling faster and faster and I find it's hard to keep up with how much they are growing and changing. Kyla is the perfect example. She had only been crawling for a couple of days when I found her like this:

Who knew she could do that? She had a rough couple of days after she learned to get into a sitting position, and didn't want to fall asleep. She kept sitting up, pulling at the bumper in her crib, waiting for me to come get her. After laying her down repeatedly for over an hour, she finally fell asleep, looking as though she had given up and just tipped over. Fortunately, she's not doing that anymore. Some of my favorite things about Kyla are:

• Her chubby cheeks and tiny nose.
• Her toothless smile
• 
  The way she acts like a puppy, crawling around with socks in her mouth and panting excitedly when she sees something she wants.
• Her awkward laugh. While she smiles a lot, she rarely laughs, so when I hear it, I can't seem to get enough.
• The way she will eat anything I offer her. She has become quite proficient at getting food into her mouth, and often "cleans" the floor for me by finding things I have left behind.
• The way she wants to be a part of things. She will crawl to where the action is. She also loves being carried around in the backpack, and was such a champ while we were golfing yesterday. Plus, I love any excuse to take a pic of her in that hat.
• 

Allie continues to be both the hardest and the most fun little girl around. She surprised me yesterday with her golfing "skills," opting for the field hockey method of trying to get the ball into the cup. She never got frustrated and really seemed to enjoy herself. I think she just liked wearing her puffy red coat, to be honest.

Here are some things you may or may not know about Allie:

• She has a fingernail fettish. She likes to "pick them." That is, she likes me to clip them half way so she can peel off the other half. But it goes beyond herself; she likes to "pick" everyone else's fingernails, too, and has even done my toenails for me. Silly.
• She loves to use public restrooms. Almost without fail, if we are out in public, she will need to use the bathroom. Yesterday during our mini golf, I didn't want to take her all the way back inside, so we went behind the old boat on the 10th hole and I pulled down her pants and she went in the bushes.
• She loves chapstick, lipstick and lip gloss. If you want to be her best friend, just give her one of those things and she will love you forever (or until it runs out). She always seems to know where I have stashed my flavored lip gloss and insists that I put some on for her because she "needs to look pretty!" She can be a mess, hair raggedy and still in her jammies, but if she's got some chapstick on, she feels pretty.
• She would eat all day long if I let her. She wants a taste of everything anyone else has, but rarely finishes anything (unless I keep hounding her). It's a bad habit, but since I am anti-snacking, she has learned to eat what she is served, even if she comes back to it later.
• She hates getting her hair combed and cries every time I do it, no matter how quickly and gently I get it done. I am looking forward to the day that she can do her own hair or gets less whiney about letting me do it.
• She is eternally optomistic. Whenever she has a potty training accident, her response is, "I can keep these ones dry." I know she's only two, but she so easily forgets her past failures and is ready to move on. Which brings me to...
• She was doing great with potty training for a while, but has regressed. I know this is not uncommon, but I really hate it. She was waking up dry very consistently for weeks, but hasn't been dry many mornings lately. I put her back in pull-ups for the night because I am so sick of doing all that laundry! I only have 5 or 6 more and then I'm not going to buy any more. We stopped giving her potty candies and I don't know if that's the reason, but she has had a few day accidents, too. I am trying a new thing now where I set a timer for random intervals throughout the day and if she's dry when it goes off, she can have a candy. We'll see how that works.

I miss Damon a lot while he's gone at school. But things are much quieter while he's gone. Allie is much more independent than Damon, and she will play by herself a lot more. Damon would just follow me around and I had to be sitting in the same room with him for him to play. He still is like that to a great degree--he wants to be where I am. But he and Allie are playing a lot better together. He's usually very good about letting her play with him and doesn't mind her tagging along. Here are some things about Damon that you may or may not know:

• He likes to stay on a schedule as much as (if not more than) I do. If it's not 8:00, he doesn't want to go to bed. He likes his routine and doesn't like to vary much from it.
• Unlike Allie, he does not like to use public restrooms. He would rather hold it until the point of no return than use a bathroom other than ours at home.
• He's very private and I think being seen naked is one of his biggest fears. Learning to use the urinal without exposing himself has been a challenge he has had to face.
• He has become a picky eater, which may account for how skinny he's looking these days. He tells me often (almost nightly) that he doesn't like what we're having for dinner. I give him two choices--eat it or be hungry. He has also learned that he can eat just about anything when he wants to, which I tell him will be good for when he goes on a mission.
• I have to force him to be independent. I'm quite sure he would still let me feed him, get him dressed, and clean up after him if I was willing. I'm not, though, and I am constantly reminding him that he is capable of doing a lot for himself.
• He's very easily frustrated and it keeps him from doing things. He first learned to ride a bike without training wheels almost a year ago, but hasn't wanted to ride since taking a bad fall shortly after. No amount of encouragement has broken through his defenses yet, and he refuses to try again. We're working on this, but I am yet to figure out how to get through to him.
• He loves to "collect" things. And strange things, too, like baby food jars, pencils he finds at school, gift cards without a balance...I don't know exactly what he has planned for everything he wants to keep, but I love saving something for him, knowing he will love it.
• He picks things up so quickly, and I'm amazed at how much he has learned in school this year. I think Heavenly Father blessed him with this ability because he knew how easily frustrated he becomes.
• He has, and always has had, an infectious laugh. He thoroughly enjoys many things and it's hard not to be happy when he's around.

I love my kids. I may not express it often enough, but I really really enjoy being a mom. I love spending time together as a family and trying new things together. On our way home yesterday, I looked back at the three of them and had to smile. For as much as they wear me out, I am pleased to occasionally return the favor.

Oh, and yes, I know that Kyla is still too young to be forward facing, but we just barely moved her up to Allie's old seat and we hadn't turned it around yet and the straps were too long. Ah well, at least we felt like we were being safe...

Eliminate the Negative

I have been really trying to be less negative with my children, emphasizing the positive as much as I can. Instead of telling them what they can't do, I have been trying to find ways to tell them what they can do. "You can play with friends after you finish homework," "You can eat lunch after your toys are picked up," "You can come out of your room when you are finished wailing..." I don't know if it makes a big difference, but at least it gets me focused more on the positive.

My sister recently alerted me to an awesome resource for parents, leadingfamilies.com. An amazing professor (and counselor) from BYU, Dr. Scoresby, writes articles on all sorts of topics of interest. I was reading some of the his latest articles, and found this one that I really liked. Check it out if you get a second.

Okay, so here is something I would like to work on with my kids. I want them to (consistently) eat sitting at the table. We have a small table in the kitchen for the kids, and it's so convenient for me to serve breakfast, lunch or snacks there (dinner we eat together in the dining room, and that's not a problem). Often, though, I am rushing around doing other things, and I'm not in the kitchen to monitor their eating. And while they are mostly good about staying off the carpet while eating, they are definitely prone to wandering around the tiled floor, leaving behind a mess. They start off at the table, but eventually end up somewhere else (usually when I am out of sight). Any suggestions? Do I just need to make sure I am in the kitchen at all times to remind them? Do I need to have them "practice" eating at the table every time I see them get up, instead of just ending the food session? Any thoughts?

The Grind

A while back, Elder Hinckley (Pres. Hinckley's son) came to Florida for our Stake Conference and told a story about his dad. Someone had asked if there would be food in heaven, and President Hinckley quipped, "I don't know, but if there is, I hope we don't have to do the dishes."

I know the feeling. I don't like doing the dishes either. Dishes spend their time on an endless conveyor belt that travels from the cupboard to the sink. There, a robot or a trained monkey could rinse them and load them into the dishwasher. Unfortunately, we have neither a robot or a trained monkey in this house and so I usually fill that role. The cycle is never ending, and there are so many times I find myself thinking, "couldn't we just stop eating for a while?"

So much of my day is spent just trying to keep up. It took nearly two days to get the laundry all caught up (it was mostly done Monday, but one more load was required yesterday when Allie woke up wet and I had to wash her bedding), and none of the laundry baskets in the house are empty today. Every day I am making the same beds, picking up the same toys, sweeping the same floor and wiping off the same high chair. It's the part of motherhood no one likes, but we all do because the only alternative is living in filth and that's really no alternative at all.

So, why do we do it? There must be a reason. Of course there is. I'll tell you my reason. I'm easily delighted. At least when it comes to my kids. God, in his infinite wisdom, must have known that I would need a heart brimming with love for my kids so that hours (and days) of frustration could be forgotten in an instant of tenderness. It's not only the funny things they say, but the way I can see myself in the things they do that get me. When I find Allie "cooking dinner" with her ABC's, I have to wonder how many times she has watched me, wanting nothing more than to grow up to be like me.

Or when Damon gets off the bus with three suckers from his bus driver, telling me he asked her for two more so he could share with his mom and sister, I am touched by his thoughtfulness and my heart is warmed. See? Easily delighted.

And then the hours pass. Allie's cooking experiment isn't cute anymore when she refuses to get off the oven door, despite my logical explanation of how the door isn't strong enough to hold her little body. Damon's attitude sours when I have to remind him that he still hasn't finished his homework and won't be able to play until it's done. And I spend the rest of the evening cooking dinner and doing the dishes. Why do I do it?, I start wondering again. The work is never-ending. It's tiring. I would rather do something else. And then I look out into the family room and my baby is crawling.

It's too much for my poor heart to take. I am suddenly as giddy as I have been in a long time. I don't expect you to be as impressed as I was, but I'm sure you can relate, when your own child did something small and simple that warmed your heart, too.

Here's to the grind, and to those moments of delight that make it worth it.

Seven(ish) Months

This isn't a great picture of Kyla (she wasn't in the mood for more pics), but Allie got this doll for Christmas from her grandma, and the cheeks and chin reminded me so much of Ky Ky. We call the baby Ky Ky. Original, huh?

So, Kyla's seven month photos came a bit late this month, seeing as how she will be 8 months old in 10 days. It's getting increasingly difficult to take her picture next to Bexley, but I keep trying.

She hasn't been quite the happy girl we have come to know and love lately. She had her first ear infection earlier this week and was pretty miserable. She also has grown very attached to me, and prefers me over anyone else. Part of me loves that. She beams when I walk into a room, providing me with an immediate self-confidence boost. She'll stop nursing, looking at me until I return her gaze, and reward me with a smile that seems to say "thanks for making my life so great," then quickly return to her meal. I love that.

I don't particularly care for the clinginess, though. That's hard. She will tolerate Jeff as long as she doesn't realize I am around (she will basically tolerate anyone if I am out of sight), but if she sees me, she wants me. Last night, Jeff was sitting on the couch with the kids, and I thought it might be nice to have a picture that he is in, so I grabbed the camera. While Damon and Allie were being goofy, Kyla gave me the "I-want-to-have-you-now" face she has developed, and burst into tears.

She has learned how to wave and how to clap (although she won't do either consistently), and crawled several feet across the living room floor toward the kitchen (trying to get to me). She pants like a dog when she sees something she wants (more endearing than it sounds), and gets bitterly disappointed when she isn't given things like peanut butter sandwiches and bean burritos. Her one big accomplishment this month has been learning to go from all fours to sitting up. It's been fun to watch the progression. She starts by getting on all fours, pushing up onto her toes, and leaning to the side...

She then completes the move by adjusting her weight, sitting up, and feeling very proud of herself.

Allie continues to be our most challenging child. She claims she is scared of everything, but only at convenient times, like when she has to go to timeout or bed. Most recently, she woke up with nightmares about a caterpillar. I tried to play it off, telling her that if caterpillars come we can watch them become butterflies. That only made her more upset. Now we are banning all caterpillars from the house (along with spiders, snakes and ants, which she was already scared of), and eliminating butterflies for good measure. She is trying to set a new record for whining, as it is her most frequent activity.

She does have her moments of occasional likeability, though, and I don't want to only remember the negative. She loves to sing into her play microphone, and really gets into her performance. She also is a big helper (when she wants to be), and I found her on the counter the other day, knife in hand, waiting for her toast to pop out of the toaster. If only I had wanted toast, it would've been a great story. She hates men with facial hair, but loves Santa, and is already talking about what she's going to ask for for Christmas next year. I do love that girl, but she will be the cause of my gray hair and wrinkles, I can already tell.

Damon is doing really well, except for the momentary lapses of judgment he encounters, which explains throwing mud at the neighbor's car for no reason at all. He is getting back into the routine of school and doing better on the bus. I have noticed that, for the first time, he has started to care about what other kids think of him. He has one zip-up fleece that he bulges a little at the top when it is zipped all the way up (and with Damon it is ALWAYS zipped all the way up), and some kids told him he looked like he had a baby in there. He no longer wants to wear it. I feel for him, and all the peer pressure he is just beginning to feel. I am enjoying the way he will still hug me when he sees me at his school or kiss me good-bye before getting on the bus. In some ways, I see him as such a big kid, and I expect a lot out of him. But at the same time, I still see my little boy in his eyes, and it kills me to think of anyone hurting him.

Family goals for 2008 are as follows:

• Read the Book of Mormon as a family by the end of the year. Damon is now reading with us, and Allie is looking at pictures in the front of her book. This is a big challenge for us (we have to read a lot more slowly with the kids), but we are going to do our best.
• Family prayer and scriptures every day (including Saturday).
• Individual night out for Damon/Allie every month (date night)

Personal goals for me:

• Get all caught up with scrapbooking by May 24, 2008 (Ky Ky's b-day). I got a digital scrapbooking program for Christmas and I am excited to get going.
• Visiting teaching. I have been terrible. I am going to do better.
• The usual scripture reading/exercising goal of 5 times a week.
• Read the Relief Society lesson every week (should be great, because it's Joseph Smith's teachings!).
• Do something new that I've never done before. Vague, I know. I have thought about what I want it to be, but haven't come up with anything yet. Any suggestions?

Alright, now that I have assuaged my guilt for not keeping better updated, I must get back to my book (The Thirteenth Tale). It's getting so good...

Is 2007 over?

I know we may be getting too far into January to still be thinking about 2007, but I wanted to do something to sum up the year (mostly so I could look back on it later). I found this on Cassie's blog and thought it was perfect. Thanks Cassie.



1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? Went on a cruise, saw a friend get sealed to her son and daughter in the temple, sent a child to kindergarten,



2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I did a fair job on my resolutions from last year. I met my temple goal, only did so-so on my scripture reading, did a pretty good job reading to/with the kids, and did manage to get all the pregnancy weight off. I am definitely going to be setting some new goals for this year and recommitting myself to some of the old ones.



3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I did. Heather did. Noel did. Great year for babies.



4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully.



5. What countries did you visit? The Bahamas. Our next trip is going to be to the Dominican Republic (so Jeff says), but who knows when that will be.



6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? An income. Wow, that would be nice.



7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 24th--KyKy's birthday. I can still recall so many things from the day she was born (and I have even more written down). The second night in the hospital I didn't get more than a few minutes of rest, and I thought I had just given birth to the world's worst baby. It must have been a test, and I must have passed, because she never did it again, and has been a little angel ever since.



8. What was your biggest personal achievement of the year? I think I am a better wife and mother than I was a year ago. I hope to be able to say the same next year.



9. What was your biggest failure? I stopped doing some of the things I loved after Kyla was born, and now she is 7 months old and I haven't started up again (writing comes to mind).



10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing major, fortunately. I did have a nagging pain in my right leg while I was pregnant, which I think originally occurred when I slipped on the floor, causing me to not be able to do a lot of things I wanted to do.



11. What was the best thing you bought? Our HD TV. Close second, the Wii.



12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My sister, Heather, who got sealed to her husband in March; my brother, Eric, who is serving a mission in San Diego; all three of my kids for various things (Damon learning to read--still in the process--, Allie being potty-trained--also in the process--, Kyla for every stinking thing she does, etc) .



13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Two of my three kids, for various things (Damon crying about not being able to do things, Allie wetting her pants, etc).



14. Where did most of your money go? JU Orthodontics for tuition. And on milk.



15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My family coming to visit during March Madness. What could possibly be better than watching hours and hours of basketball with those I love the most?



16. What song will always remind you of 2007? "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood. Allie fell in love with this song shortly after I did. It was definitely the most listened to song of the year. Also, the soundtrack of "Wicked." We listened to that many, many times on the drive to Damon's preschool and back.



17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer? a) happier. And also less anxious. Adding a third child to the family has been wonderful. b) thinner, thanks to the fact that I am no longer pregnant, and the weight came off a lot easier this time. c) poorer. The debt total keeps growing...



19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Making the "mad face" (sticking my jaw out and biting on my lower teeth), getting frustrated with my kids, and worrying about things that really don't matter.



20. Did you fall in love in 2007? Yes, with my baby girl. I still cannot get enough of her. I have enjoyed (nearly) every moment with her and I am so sad to see her growing up so fast.



21. What was your favorite TV program? My new fav for the year was So You Think You Can Dance. It was the first year I really watched it, and I loved it. Close second: Pushing Daisies.



22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No one comes to mind.



23. What was the best book you read? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the last 200 pages or so were fantastic!).



24. What was your greatest musical discovery? That I can still play the piano. Also, spiralfrog.com has free music downloads.



26. What did you want and not get? A new set of pots and pans--the ones I want from Costco are $400 (just a tad out of our price range).



27. What was your favorite film of this year? Do they still show movies in the theater? I wouldn't know. But as for dvds I watched...I really liked Pursuit of Happyness (that was the first one that came to mind, so I guess it was the most memorable).



28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 28 in 2007, and celebrated by buying smaller jeans for myself while Jeff played with the kids at the playground in the mall. Can't beat that.



29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If Allie hadn't had one potty-training accident. Oh, and if the Buckeyes had been able to win just one of the three championship games they were in.



30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Lots of ponytails and visors (to hide the new hair growth I have going on); cleaning out the closet and throwing away some things I have had for nearly 10 years, hoping that I don't look too outdated.



31. What kept you sane? Blogging, book club, exercising and an incredible husband who encourages me to get away from the kiddies.

32. When you think about 2007, what sticks out in your mind? Beach trips, morning walks, turtles (and snakes) in the road, Sea World, and spending time with Greg and Noel.



33. Best moment of 2007? When my family came to visit in March, we took a trip to the Orlando temple. My mom, dad, Heather, Samuel, Tara, Wayne, Eric, Jeff and I got to do a session together and there was only one other person in the session with us. It was almost like we had the temple to ourselves. It was like a mini-preview of heaven. Later that night, Eric opened his mission call in the hotel room. Definitely the best day of the year.

Holiday Checklist

What a vacation. I love Christmas. I hate flying across the country to spend it with my family (I hate the flying, not the family). Here is a rundown of some of the things we did this Christmas:

• Manage to get sick in Utah: CHECK. Damon only gets sick when we are away from home. He has been to instacare many times (ear infections, scarlet fever, etc.). My pediatrician gave me chewable ammoxacillan so we could avoid another round of instacare charges. This year he got the flu. And threw up on my MIL's couch. The one no one ever sits on. He then passed it on to me a few days later. I threw up out the window of my mom's van. On the freeway. Going 80. Love the holidays.


• Get the kids what they really want for Christmas: NOT SO MUCH. Because Damon asked for a tool workshop and Allie asked for a kitchen, Santa didn't see any way those items would fit on the airplane. Instead, Damon got a pirate ship and Allie got a LeapFrog bank. They still seemed pretty happy.


• 


• Go see Santa: CHECK. We saw him on Christmas Eve, and he must have been completely done with the holidays. He never smiled once, and didn't even pretend to enjoy Kyla sucking on his (fake) beard. I love how Allie is posing in this picture.


• 


• Enjoy spending time with both families: CHECK. Seeing our families really makes going home worth it. Although this year Allie developed a strong aversion to my brother, Jonny, and never could get over it. She couldn't stand to be in the same room with him, even after he shaved off his facial hair. She also has been asking to only listen to songs by women, and admitted that she is also afraid of Joe from Blue's Clues. Interesting character, that girl...


• Manage to break the camera that was so recently found: CHECK. Just after seeing Santa, Damon was trying to look at the pictures and I was trying to move him away from the stranger's stroller he was standing on, and the camera got dropped with the lens open. It never recovered. What a sad day for me.


• Be the center of a family drama: CHECK. When my uncle heard about our camera accident, he decided to do something amazingly nice for us and anonymously donate $300 so that we could buy a new camera. The money mysteriously disappeared during dinner (long before we knew about it), but the bow that was on top of it was found outside by the trampoline. There were 40 people in the house for dinner (including a few juvenile delinquints from my dad's work), but I don't think anyone took it maliciously. My dad gave us his old Kodak EasyShare so we wouldn't be completely without a camera, but I still didn't feel like taking many pictures after that.


• Get way too much candy: CHECK. You can see that Allie would've been happy if all she got was a huge candy bar, but we all came home with enough candy to fill a small suitcase. We'll see how long Jeff lets it stay in the house before the dentist in him prompts him to throw it all out.


• 


• Teach Kyla some new tricks: CHECK. She loved the Jumperoo, and I loved looking at her pig legs while she was in it. She also attempted to clap, crawl and eat Skittles.
• 
• Allow Damon and Allie some quality bonding time by letting them share a bed: CHECK. They are both such snugglers and I didn't hear a word of complaint from either of them. The second picture is my favorite--you can see that Allie has one hand behind Damon and the other on his chest. So sweet!
• 
• Get everything I asked for for Christmas: YET TO BE DETERMINED. Ask me tomorrow...and GO BUCKEYES!!

Camera Happy

Having gone the weekend thinking the camera was lost, today I felt a certain attachment to it, bringing it along on our morning adventures. I had been wanting to take the kids to the Gingerbread Extravaganza downtown, and was unable to convince anyone else to go with us. So, I bundled the kids up (it's not THAT cold, but 54 degrees today compared to the 85 heat wave we were experiencing Saturday makes it seem a lot colder) and we headed off.

The "extravaganza" was a lot of fun, and all the money goes to charity, so it was for a good cause. We all picked our favorite gingerbread house, and here are a few of them. Damon chose the sandcastle (not sure what that face is all about), Allie chose the one she was closest too (she wouldn't look at the camera--too much going on) and I picked the 3 little pigs one. Really, it was so clever. The other pictures are from Damon's class party I went to last week (with my 40 sugar cookies). It was pajama day and the entire day was a party. Ah to be a kindergartner again...

After the gingerbread event, we went to Kids Kampus and played.

Damon loves to "zip to zip from tree to tree" (if you can name what that is from, you must have kids).

Kyla enjoyed sitting at the top of the slide, pretending she was a big girl. I helped her go down. She wasn't sure she liked it, so I had her go down again to be sure. She didn't like it, but merely tolerated it.

Probably my favorite picture of the day. Allie is doing her weird "bunny smile," but I still think it's cute.

We're heading to Utah for Christmas tomorrow. Merry Christmas! Hope you all have a great one!

A dose of honesty

It's not that hard to be honest. Is it? The majority of people are honest, aren't they? Lately, I'm not so sure. A couple years ago, we found a rash of charges on our credit card for things we didn't purchase (most notably, a payment to a doctor in India), and were forced to question when and where our card number got stolen. Noel had her debit card number stolen by a coworker at the GAP, and the girl continued to work with her as though nothing had happened while using the stolen number. Several of you, my blogger friends, have written about things that have been stolen from your cars, your homes, and even off your porches. It seems like our society in general has become decidedly less honest than in years past. Remember the two clips of President Clinton played back to back: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." "I did indeed have an inappropriate physical relationship with Miss Lewinsky." Dishonesty reaches the highest office in America.

What ever happened to the days of doing the right thing simply because it's the right thing? I remember, as a kid, losing my wallet at a toy store in Las Vegas. It was a big deal, because I had over $20 inside! We were all pleasantly surprised when it turned up at the customer service desk, with nothing stolen. My faith in mankind was restored.

Today, though, the newspaper is filled with stories of dishonesty. The big story in sports right now comes from accusations of trainers, telling of steriod use by Major League Baseball players. Of course, the players deny that they ever took anything knowingly, although they would be hard pressed to find many who are willing to believe that they are telling the truth. Wouldn't they all be better off just to come out and admit that they did something wrong and to ask for forgiveness, instead of denying something that they are, clearly, guilty of?

These are the things that have been weighing in my mind lately, as my faith in society has dwindled. Then I lost our camera. I had it at Damon's school on Friday as I joined his class in the Dare to Read walk, but when I got home, I couldn't find it. Hoping I had only misplaced it, I searched the stroller, the van, and every possible place I could've put it here at home. Nothing. I came to the conclusion that it must have fallen out of the stroller at the school, and all I could do was hope that someone found it and brought it in to the office. My hopes weren't very high, as my attitude had turned cynical as of late, as I called the office this morning. Maybe it's the Christmas spirit in the air, maybe there are one or two honest people left in the world, or maybe I have underestimated mankind.

The camera was there! I don't have to face any more "if you lost the camera, we won't be able to afford one for a long time" guilt trips. I can stop telling Damon that sometimes our prayers aren't answered, and tell him that (YAY!) sometimes they are. Merry Christmas to me. Our week is off to a great start. Honestly.

Acting

I should've made a career out of acting. I have all kinds of experience.

When we were kids, my sister and I played zits in our ward's roadshow production (we were from Zittsburgh). I only remember one thing from that play, and it was the line, "Do you have her brush?" We thought it was hilarious. I wish I knew why.

Some time after that, a group of girls from the neighborhood got together and entered the stake talent show with a coreographed number from "The Little Mermaid." Maybe because I was the oldest, or because I knew all the words to "Kiss the Girl," but somehow I was chosen to be the one lip syncing to the song, a tutu on my waist and a large feather sticking out of my ponytail (the song may not have been that great, but our costume design was phenomonal). I about had a panic attack on stage, but hid it well.

Spurred on by our talent show succes, my sister and I (along with a good friend) made countless music videos to the music of Wilson Philips when I was about 12 or 13 years old. We used the grandfather of video cameras (the one that was so large and bulky you had no choice but to rest it on your shoulder), and shot in a number of different locations (every room in the house, the trampoline, and even on the roof). I have the video evidence to prove it, although there's not much chance of me posting it, as it would probably change the way you looked at me forever.

Junior high brought new opportunities. I took a drama class in eighth grade (okay, it was actually mandatory), and can still remember some of my lines from a scene we did from "Arsenic and Old Lace." It wasn't until our second date that you told my I have nice legs. And I have, too. Really, it was the kind of stuff that should be featured on a "Before They Were Stars" segment on E! I knew I was fantastic (how could I NOT have been?), but unfortunately, playing sports kept me from pursuing acting any further.

A few years later, when I finally became comfortable enough with myself to admit that I wasn't good at everything, I happened upon the conclusion that I was never going to be an actress. Not only that, nothing about acting appealed to me at all; I hate being the center of attention, I am not very emotional, and would much rather spend my time shooting hoops or hitting a softball than sitting around rehearsing. Sadly, we never made another music video, and besides the occasional "family play" (in which we mostly make fun of my mom), my acting career came to an end.

That is, until our family got roped into playing a small part in a play performed at our Relief Society's Elegant Dinner last night. It can hardly be called acting because we didn't actually speak any of the lines, but merely acted out what was being read. Jeff, who is far less experienced in the world of acting than I am, had to pretend to be excited when I announced that I was having a baby (you may recall that I felt like he wasn't very excited when his actual child was born). The baby was born, grew up and became Damon, who had to rush into his daddy's arms as he came home from work.

Being the self-aware person that I am, I knew that my acting wasn't going to inspire any of the ladies watching the production, but instead hoped that they would just feel the spirit of the evening and not be too critical of our less than stellar performance. I was surprised and impressed with how much Damon seemed to enjoy it, and he got many compliments. As for Jeff and me, I don't think there will be much more acting in our futures. Besides the encore we will give tomorrow night at the ward Christmas party.

If only I could convince him to make a music video with me...

Nothing Much

Our camera is recovering from a recent bout with condensation, and I haven't taken many pictures lately, so when I was thinking about what I wanted to post, I didn't have many visuals to inspire me. Instead, you get this.

Damon and Allie have been banned from the tub until after Christmas. You may recall the "Single Mom Sunday Incident" when they filled the tub to overflowing. They were actually grounded from the tub even then, but since they have been unable to keep the water where it belongs, they are only allowed to take showers. They have gotten very good at it, and I only have to stick my head in for a minute to wash hair and soap bodies and they can take care of the rest.

Kyla, my sweet untainted one, is still allowed to take baths. Although, she doesn't mind the occasional shower. The other night just so happened to be both a shower and bath night for the kids, and I asked them to pose next to the tub. Damon's plan for the shot was to have everyone open their towels, exposing their "goods," and to make silly faces. I chose a more conservative pose.

"Who's ready to get up?" Look closely, and you can see Kyla raising her hand in the affirmative.

And for any of you who are interested in what Kyla is doing now, you can watch this clip. It's not very exciting and I won't be mad if you skip it (I won't know anyway). She has developed a touch of stranger anxiety and prefers me to anyone else (I don't mind that at all). She kicks her legs when she thinks I'm going to pick her up, which you can see here. She also can move herself around fairly well, when she's not lying on three inches of memory foam, although she can only go backwards or in circles.

Christmas Music

Maybe it's the 70 degree weather we are having, but for some reason, it doesn't really seem like Christmas yet. We aren't putting up decorations because we are heading to Utah soon and having Christmas there. And while we're singing Christmas songs at choir, I just haven't been listening to much Christmas music.

That changed today as I was sitting in the van, waiting outside Damon's school. He has been getting off the bus really upset by the increased rowdiness of kids on the bus in the afternoon and begged me not to make him ride it anymore. Even the ear plugs I gave him to put in his ears didn't seem to help and yesterday the bus driver told me he was crying because it was just too loud. I made a deal with him that if he'll ride the bus in the morning, I will pick him up until Christmas break. He was willing to go for it, and for the first time in months, I sat in the long line of cars, waiting to pick him up.

Allie didn't take a nap today, and I was hoping she might fall asleep while we waited, so she doesn't turn into Monster Allie later this evening. The radio wasn't doing anything to lure her into sleep, and so I slipped in a Christmas cd my sister made for us last year. We were enjoying "Little Drummer Boy" by Ashlee and Jessica Simpson when I started wondering why it has taken me so long to get the music out. I started browsing through the songs, trying to remember what else was on the cd, when I heard the familiar opening of a song that instantly transported me to another time.

Four years ago this month, I was nearly five months pregnant with our second baby when my water broke. I think I knew instantly what had happened, even though I hadn't experienced it with Damon. After consulting with a nurse, we decided to drive to the hospital to find out for sure what was happening. The hospital was 30 minutes away and we listened to a Martina McBride Christmas cd on the way there.

Once we checked in, my fear was confirmed that, in fact, my water had broken, and, while still alive, at 20 weeks, there was no way our baby was going to survive outside the womb. The next week was incredibly emotional, as I tried to connect to this unborn child, saying good-bye. On December 11th, I went into labor and our son, Chance, was born, stillborn. This was a life-changing experience for all of us , but it wasn't until we were driving home from the hospital that I gained an incredible amount of perspective. The same Martina McBride cd was in the car, and we listened again to the song "Do You Hear What I Hear." At the end of the song are the words:

"A child, a child, sleeping in the night

He will bring us goodness and light

he will bring us goodness and light."

It was a powerful moment, contrasting the sadness I felt about losing my little boy with the great joy I felt celebrating the birth of another boy, our Savior. Christmas was extra special that year, as I felt closer to Christ than I ever had before, knowing that because of Him, I would get to see my son again, and have him a part of our family forever.

Four years have passed, two other children have come to our family, and I find that I am rarely sad when I think about Chance, "our angel" as we like to call him. The gospel has stitched up the wounded place in my heart, and life has once again been filled with happiness.

So today, as "Do You Hear What I Hear?" started filling the van, I was unprepared for the surge of emotion that came over me. My heart overflowing, my eyes brimmed with tears, the memories suddenly so fresh and vivid in my mind. Kyla started crying in her seat behind me, and I reached my hand back. Her fingers closed over mine, squeezing my heart a little more, and I enjoyed her tender touch for a long moment.

The song ended. The moment passed. Damon got in and shut the door. We played "Little Drummer Boy" for him on the drive back home, as Allie fell asleep. "This is so better than the bus," he said.

Welcome, Christmas spirit. I couldn't agree more.

Pain in the Grass

Have I ever mentioned how much I detest the grass here in Jacksonville? I know the answer to that is YES, but I am going to mention it again. In my time in Utah and Ohio I falsely came to believe that grass is soft to the touch, and can be walked upon barefoot. I recall many happy afternoons spent laying on the grass (with or without a blanket) absorbing the sun's rays (have I ever mentioned how much I love the sun?), a good book in hand.

In Ohio, I was amazed that, while sprinkler systems were optional, huge fields of beautiful grass grew everywhere, even in front of grocery stores. It was a grass heaven, God's carpet, and . The only problem was that there were so few warm, sunny days of the year, that it was hard to really enjoy it.

You would think that Florida, with an abundance of both rain and sunshine, would hold the key for the best possible vegetation, but I was sorely disappointed when we moved here and found that the city of Jacksonville is nothing more than a swamp covered with loads of beach sand. Indeed, our house is "built upon the sand," and the ground soaks up water like a man dying of thirst. The most popular type of grass is St. Augustine, and it is nothing like the grass I grew up loving. It is coarse, infested with bugs, and requires a great deal of time and attention. Even with vast amounts of TLC, it often withers and dies. People are constantly pulling it all out and starting over, resodding their entire yards.

When we discovered that our kids were not going to be playing carefree in the yard, our motivation for taking care of it quickly dropped out of sight. We watered it occasionally, regarding it as more of a nuisance than anything else. As would be expected, the grass started to die. First one spot turned brown, then another. We started getting letters from our homeowners association telling us we needed to address the issue. We put it off as long as we could, hoping for some lieniency because of Jeff's busy schedule. Finally, in September, after spraying for both bugs and weeds, we decided it was time to replace the lawn in the front yard. I'm sure you will agree that it was time (past time).

Jeff and I spent a couple weeks pulling out the old stuff with a rake and bagging it up to be hauled away. It was hard, back breaking work, and we needed a little help from Jeff's brother, Greg, at the end. But we got the yard to this point, as free from weeds as it was ever going to be.

We only did from the sidewalk to the house, and left the green "weed grass" alone.

$200 of sod came just before we left for our cruise in October. Damon and Kimmy (my sis) thought it would be more fun to play on the pallets than actually do any of the work.

My dad, who thought he was coming here for a vacation, was put to work, and he and I laid the sod while Jeff was at school. I had to go inside after about 2 1/2 hours, but my dad stayed out and finished the rest. What a man.

And here is a picture that I took two days ago. You have to admit that it looks a ton better. It might even look good enough to walk on. But don't be fooled--I won't be spending any time laying on the grass, basking in the sun, the smell of freshly cut grass in my nostrils. Not here in Jacksonville. I'll have to wait until we have our own house in Utah for that. Or maybe visit a Kroger in Columbus.

Elf Yourself

A few of my friends have been doing this, and we thought we'd try, too. Make sure you send us your link if you do it, too--my kids would LOVE it.

December busyness

December is just beginning, and I already feel like I can't quite catch my breath. The list of things I need to do seems to be getting longer, and just when I check something off the list, it is replaced with something else that needs to be done. Here's the latest:

Christmas cards are addressed and waiting to be stamped (something Damon has requested that he be in charge of). We opted for picture #1, with Damon and the "head tilt." Because I had to crop the last one (the one, I was informed, that was best of me), it wouldn't fit on a 4X8 Wal-mart card. We'll be getting it in an 8x10, though, so thank you all for your help. I ended up choosing the first one because I love the fact that you can see the river in the background and Damon's pose is just so him. I think I will look back in 20 years and remember exactly how he is today.

We've been fighting a bit of a cold bug, although Zicam has shortened it for me (love that stuff!). I suspect Allie has an ear infection, and will be visiting the doctor tomorrow morning (ibuprofen is her friend).

Jeff stayed with the kids on Saturday so I could go to Orlando and see my friend sealed to her husband and daughter. I went with two other friends and we did a session before the sealing. It was a great, great day and exactly what I needed.

Allie has given up pull-ups at night (she still only wakes up dry about one in five mornings), which has increased my laundry tremendously. But I'm willing to give it a try and see if she can figure it out. She asked if she could feed Kyla, and I told her if she stayed dry all day she could do it. It was a rousing success. When she woke up dry this morning, she asked to feed Kyla again. How could I say no? I love how she asks, "you don't like it?," when she is clearly gagging the poor girl.



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When I was putting the pics on the computer today, there were a few video clips that Allie had clearly taken herself. One is of the ceiling after she had set the camera on the counter. I watched the whole thing, listening to hear what was going on. Eventually my voice is heard, but all I do is ask her if she's gassy and tell her to wash her face and hands. Not the gem I was hoping for. It does explain why the Kyla clip is blurry--Allie's peanut butter hands had been handling the lens.

One funny thing--Allie saw something that she thought was pretty impressive. "Holy..." she started, then struggled to find a way to finish her sentence. I was expecting "smokes," "cow," or even "mackeral," as Damon has been known to say. Instead, she said exuberantly, "Holy Ghost!" That one made me laugh. Okay, time to go check something else off the list. But first I will add "blog about random happenings" to the list. Just so I can check it off...